Things To Do In Cleveland When You're Drunk

Cleveland Browns running back Reuben Droughns was arrested early yesterday morning for driving under the influence of alcohol, after weaving in and out of traffic, speeding and ultimately blowing a 0.08 on the Breathalyzer. (Our father once actually told us, in one of our favorite pieces of advice, to never agree to a Breathalyzer. "Those things are always a tick too high," he said, as we blew out the five candles on our birthday cake.)

We don't have much to add here, since drunk driving isn't inherently funny and, from all accounts, Droughns didn't have a Bob Huggins-esque meltdown on video, and he doesn't have a history of violence or debauchery. (Which is good, because if he did, and the Browns cut him, Nick Lachey would have to write a long column blasting the team for not supporting him, a la Huggins.) We will say, however, that every time we're in Cleveland, we have an urge to drink too.

Droughns Arrested, Charged With DUI [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]