This HOA President Takes His Job Way Too Seriously

Members of the Westwind Home Owners Association recently received an email—which was forwarded to us by a helpful tipster—from their organization's president, who has had it up to here with people not cleaning up after dogs who poop in the neighborhood. But don't worry, this HOA president has a foolproof plan for sniffing out the rogue poopers: DNA testing!

To all Westwind residents:

This afternoon, I encountered a dog poop on the sidewalk right in front of the mailbox on the east side of Westwind parking area. The poop was still there at 9 pm. Whoever left his/her dog’s poop there has clearly violated Arlington County Bylaws and Westwind Rules and Regulations. He/she also failed to show minimal respect to his/her neighbors.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time this happens. I did not take a sample of this excrement since we do not yet have DNA samples of all dogs in Westwind. However, I will be proposing in the next Board meeting (July 31), a new rule that would require all dog owners to register their dogs’ DNA so that poops can be positively identified. This practice has now been adopted across the country by many homeowners’ associations who are tired of sending warnings to their residents with no effect.

In addition, the safety surveillance cameras I and other Westwind residents are planning to install on their front and back doors will help identify the offending dog owners.

[Redacted]PresidentWHOA

I bet that next board meeting is going to be fun!

h/t Mike