This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals

When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. This is more like it.

Watch (his goal is the first one in the above video) as The Beast chests down a ball sent damn near halfway across the pitch, and then with a mere flex of his left delts sends an Exeter defender flying back as if he'd been yanked away by a Vaudeville hook. Now completely free, Akinfenwa sizes up the bouncing ball and sends it screaming over the keeper and under the crossbar. Power and finesse.

Our offer of fandom to whichever EPL team signs him still stands. With all the long balls they're playing in Manchester, couldn't Akinfenwa spell Marouane Fellaini from time to time?