This Is The Best Jaguars Fan

The Jaguars’ draft class needs no further analysis. A woman interviewed by a local news station has said all that needs to be said.

“They say [the Jaguars] have the best draft in the entire NFL,” a WJXT reporter told a local Jaguars fan. “Are you surprised to hear that?”

“Heh,” she said. (She did say, “Heh.”) “Certainly not. The first year we [dramatic pause] took it to the limit. And I was in Miami with my new beach house. Well, it was a couple minutes from the beach.”

Even if we accept that this beach house wasn’t as close to the beach as originally claimed, this woman is already extremely cool.

The reporter tries to bring this woman down to earth. “It’s been 20 years since then. We haven’t been too strong in the last few years.”

But Number One Jags Fan will not be held down by the failures of the past.

“Oh, we’ve been strong,” she said. “We’re just playing by the rules. You can’t have a newcomer come in and [dramatic pause] steal the show.”

Well, that settles it. The Jaguars are going to win the Super Bowl.