This Is What Happens When A Ukrainian Girl's 18th Birthday Party Goes Wild

While the jingle-y soundtrack, in all its Benny Hill theme-esquedness, certainly adds a bit of flair to this here video shot a couple weeks ago in the mighty Ukraine (apparently), it's by no means necessary to carry the scene.


No. The splendidly dressed young ladies attending an 18th birthday party do quite a bit of the carrying all on their own. By hair pulling. And head smacking. And neck yanking. And getting pulled across tables by their spread legs-ing. And buffalo stampeding. And dress adjusting. And high-heel swinging.

Probably shouldn't have invited that ragebag, though. He doesn't seem like very good company.

And now, the rest of your Tuesday Night Fights, with a nice St. Patrick's Day round-up, and a conclusion with legal thoughts on how one bit of domestic violence might shake out down at police HQ. As always, pretty much all of 'em are NSFW. That's why they get posted after 9 p.m. eastern:

• This one's called "Girl fight (Ass beating)." The whole addition of a parenthetical, while a nice touch, might could've worked more effectively had it included "in a bikini." (Start of violence, 0:03)

• "Fairly drunk" brothers put some fightin' gloves on for a little backyard brawlin'. Some good brawlin', too. Especially at the 1:27 mark, when one of the bros gets KTFO. (SoV, 0:12).

• Here's what Jersey Shore would look like if a) it was filmed in Trivandrum, India and b) Sn00ki was a mantis of a dude who went day-drinking disguised as an angry, horny, screechy Hovito. (SoV, 2:15, but don't flash-forward. It's magical.)


• Tanner Glass, of the Winnipeg Jets, didn't much appreciate Adam Burish throwing his hockey glove into the crowd. So, Tanner Glass fought back against the Dallas Star. (SoV, 0:19*) (H/T Frank P.)

Your Gratuitous St. Patrick's Day Parade Lady Fight From Savannah, Ga. Intermission:

• And a gratuitous St. Patrick's Day brawl which made them close the bars early in Milwaukee. (SoV, instantly)


• And a gratuitous St. Patrick's brawl pitting big lady versus littl'r lady on Center Ave. in Bay City, which was "on YouTube, big time." Whatwhat! (SoV, 0:38)

• And a gratuitous St. Patrick's brawl in Portland, Oregon among dudes trying to prove their white power's the strongest. (SoV, 1:13)


• And a gratuitous St. Patrick's scene in which a Chicago cop takes Short Round by the throat and shows him what's up in Wrigleyville. (SoV, 0:25)

Your "Girl Fights With No Underwear,Titties and Ass Everywhere" Commercial Break:

• This family brawl in a Maryland parking lot includes everyone up to and including grandma. (SoV, 0:56)


• This kid was asked several times to drop his "It's The Best Day Ever" SpongeBob back pack by his eventual fight foe. But he didn't, which is likely what led to his ankle, lip and nasal injuries. (SoV, 0:32)

• Haymakers galore landed in this Columbus, Ga. street fight (SoV, instantly).

TWEAKER FIGHT! (SoV, instantly)

• Yet again, a bunch of foreign folks just start brawling in the woods for no discriminate reason. (SoV, 0:20)


Your Kristi-And-Liz 2009 Lawn Roll-Around Top-Removing Flashback:

When Douchebags Attack!

• This one's called "dike vs two girls and boy." (SoV, instantly)

Panama City representing. Or something like racist bruhs talking to bruh who "kill(s) people for a living" who points out that "niggaz 'bout to die in here." (SoV, I guess around 0:10)


• Others ... "Chicago: South Side ghetto girl fight caught on tape." Fight at the Hacienda Mexican Restaurant in Mishawaka, Ind. "Mad drunk woman beats up man on train." "Wilson High School fight (from Friday)." "Left Him In A Coma!" "Fight brings out at A$AP Rocky Brawl At SXSW 2012!"

Your Girl Headbutts Guy, Guy Drops Girl Outside A Club Coda (With Legal Breakdown) ...


Ok, it takes a total creep to hit a back-turned-to-him girl outside a club with a velvet rope. That rope used to count for something. It used to matter. This is something on which reasonable people agree. But I had some questions about who'd be charged with what should the cops get called in relation to this video.

So, I dropped John Timoney — former No. 2 of the NYPD, Philly police commissioner, Miami police chief and all-around good guy — a line. Here's how he broke it down via email from Bahrain, where he's working on police reform.

The video presents an interesting case. Without it the guy would be toast. Here's the rule of thumb for cops but first, some background.

In the eighties, women's groups sued police departments across the country for how they handled or mishandled "domestic violence" including boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, partner, etc.

Cops had been trained for years to separate the combatants and send the guy — usually it is always the guy — to take a walk to "cool off." Women argued that there should be a mandatory arrest in these situations. So, cops were trained on "mandatory arrests."

A cop comes to a house/scene and both say they have been assaulted, so the cops arrest both under the mandatory arrest philosophy. More lawsuits forcing cops to make a call on who is the "initial aggressor."

So, as you can imagine, 99% of the time the male is the initial aggressor and usually this is backed up with physical evidence, e.g. bruise, cuts, etc.

Now the video. She is clearly the "initial aggressor" based upon what we see in the video. There may have been other actions by him prior to video, but we don't know.

You can see that he tries to calm her down and embraces her with his arms trying to control her. She doesn't stop and comes at him and then head-buts him in the lip; it looks like she may have drawn blood by his reaction. Yet he backs off and backs away while she continues to go at him. He then punches her, really in self defense.

If the cops were called, my sense is that they would arrest him based on evidence and eyewitness statements. However, the video would be used by his lawyer to prove self defense and the fact that he was not the initial aggressor. Such is life in copland.