Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
-Cardinals revoke newspaper's credential after they publish the home address of a number of players, including a furious Albert Pujols. Perhaps unsurprisingly, none of them actually live in St. Louis.
-Graham Harrell takes his gunslingin' to the Saskatchewan Roughriders, not to be confused with the Ottawa Rough Riders. Also not to be confused with professional football.
-Delusional (or self-promotional) poker player buys Barack Obama a $10,000 seat at the WSOP. Will the President take him up on his offer? No. No, he won't.