This, Of Course, Means You Can't Use Your Hands In Heaven

It's actually kind of surprising we haven't heard of this before, though if it were to happen, it was obviously going to be soccer. The Reading soccer club of England can now buy an officially licensed coffin. The coffin weighs 500 pounds and is a "blue and white striped coffin adorned with the club crest, an image of the Madejski Stadium and a football." (That's a soccer ball, not a real football.
The club is also endorsing an urn adorned with the team colors. We had a relative once who was buried with a St. Louis Cardinals pennant, and we ourselves have greatly considered wearing an Arizona Cardinals helmet through the afterlife. But this is the first time a franchise has actually officially licensed the merchandise.
"People like to liven up their funerals these days," a team spokesperson said.


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