Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. So here's a look at the big news of the week in odd, confusing sports in other lands, with our translation:

• "We'll start with the News of the World's interview with Gilberto in which he says he tried lots of times to convince Robinho to come to Arsenal ... . He seemed interested until that giant thighed cunt Roberto Carlos told him the food in England was terrible so he moved to Madrid instead." []

British soccer bloggers — it's like having tea with the Queen every day.

• "Virender Sehwag hit three fours as India raced to victory off 14 balls, although the winning runs came courtesy of four byes way down the leg side by Blignaut." [The New Zealand Herald]


India scored the winning runs on the portion of the field behind the batsman, due to errors, which ... ah screw it, you're on your own.

• "Wellington have the wood on Canterbury, except when it comes to the Log of Wood." [Korfball World]


The sport is Korfball. The Log of Wood is the symbol of national Korfball supremacy in New Zealand. Look, if we were making this up, we'd make it a lot more believable. And after a hard day of Korfball, why don't we all meet 'round the pub for a pint? If you see Roberto Carlos, say cheers.

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