The NBA lockout isn't even a week old yet, and we're plum out of stories. The NBA's website has become a ghost-town-cum-clearinghouse for WNBA news and classic highlights. We're talking about predictable Michael Beasley weed busts instead of flurrying free agent activity, or something.

And now this gem, from ESPN Los Angeles:

Clippers season-ticket prices stable
Whenever the next NBA season starts, it won't cost any more to see the Los Angeles Clippers' reigning Rookie of the Year, Blake Griffin.

For the fourth consecutive year, the Clippers declined to raise their season-ticket prices despite a 7.9 percent jump in attendance that can be largely correlated with Griffin's arrival and dominant rookie season.

The team declined comment. However, obtained ticket information that confirms the prices of Clippers' season-ticket packages remain unchanged.


And then it goes on, for eight more paragraphs that explain that the Clippers' tickets were already expensive, and that there are colorful photos of Blake Griffin in the brochure the Clips sent out in the spring, and, well, we couldn't stay awake much after that point. If only the Clippers had confirmed to ESPN that their ticket prices weren't changing, then we'd have a whale of a story. But they declined comment.

If you find any particularly boring non-stories, send 'em our way. (We recognize, of course, that writing about the proliferation of laughable non-stories implicitly acknowledges that we have no actual stories, either. For that we apologize.) We'll give you the highlights, all the while obscuring our own newsgathering deficiencies, and together we shall plod through this lockout. Onward.


Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. New Jersey's public enemy number one, Brian Hickey, will be with you before too long.