Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Tony Romo and Jay Cutler are Winners, Philip Rivers Stinks: Your Sunday NFL Roundup

What a weird day. Rex Grossman showed incredible touch and accuracy. Tony Romo made big plays when the Cowboys needed them. Sidney Rice was a more effective passer than Tarvaris Jackson. OK, so maybe that's not so weird. Anyway, here's your Sunday roundup. Enjoy.


Miami 35, Buffalo 8: This was a wild one—for the first half, at least. After putting up a quick 28 on the Bills, the Dolphins got tired of batting around the rotting corpse that is the Bills breakout season and only mustered 7 more points the rest of the way. I guess they were able to survive without their precious kicker.

Green Bay 35, Tampa Bay 26: The Packers are 10-0. Even though LeGarrette Blount rolled the defense, Green Bay carried on with business as usual. Rodgers had three touchdowns—two to White Lightning himself, Jordy Nelson. Still not sure what's whiter, though: being nicknamed "White Lightning" or being real-named "Jordy."

Cleveland 14, Jacksonville 10: [Leaves "Out to lunch, be back in 15 minutes" sign]

Baltimore 31, Cincinnati 24: The Ravens moved into a tie with Pittsburgh thanks to 165 yards and a touchdown from Torrey Smith and 104 yards and two touchdowns from Ray Rice. Oh, and 373 yards and 3 interceptions from Andy Dalton. The Baltimore Smashmouths did it all without vocal/spiritual/dancing leader, Ray Lewis.

Detroit 49, Carolina 35: Mathew Stafford had 5 touchdowns as the Lions came back from a big deficit in yet another game. Kevin Smith ran for a career high 140 yards and three touchdowns. Kevin Smith also spent the afternoon reminding most of the country that he still exists. The Panthers, well, they lost again. It's not easy, to be Cam.

Oakland 27, Minnesota 21: This was a tough game to watch, and not just because it was Raiders-Vikings. Darius Heyward-Bey left the game immobilized on a stretcher and teammates were said to have been "visibly shaken as he was taken off the field with no movement in his extremities visible." It was later reported he would make the team flight home. Adrian Peterson also left the game with a foot injury and according to Leslie Frazier, x-rays were negative. [CBS Sports, Twitter]


Dallas 27, Washington 24: Despite Rex Grossman's heroics and Tony Romo pulling a Chris Weber that went uncalled, the Cowboys won in overtime on a 39 yard field goal.


Mark Schlereth Reads An AP Style Game Recap
Aaron. Rodgers. Threw three. Touch. Down passes and the Green. Bay. Packers. Survived a scare. From the Tampa. Bay. Bucc. A. Neers in a 35-26 VIC. TOR-Y Sunday.

Illustration for article titled Tony Romo and Jay Cutler are Winners, Philip Rivers Stinks: Your Sunday NFL Roundup

With the Packers leading by two. Points. And trying. To fend off. A rally by Tampa. Bay. [Who is writing this boring copy? It stinks—not in the good way, either.] in the fourth. Quarter. Rodgers found Jordy. Nelson. for a clinching [Victory clinching?! How do we know?!] 40-yard TOUCHdown with 2:55 left. In the game — Nelson's second [sniffs something in the air] TD catch. Of. The afternoon.
[loosens tie]
The Packers ran their record to 10-0, leaving. Them [Here we go, Stink. Throw 'em for a loop] as the ENN EFF ELL'S lone. UN-defeated team. Going into a Thanks. Giving Day matchup at De-TROIT. [That was beautiful man, just like we talked about.]

Josh. Freeman threw for three. HUNDRED. And FORTY-two yards with TWO touchdowns. And two interceptions. for the Bucc. A. Neers (4-6), who have lost four. Straight but didn't back down against one of the [caught off guard] NATIONALFOOTBALLLEAGUE'SELITETEAMS. [Shit-what a rush, man!]


Seattle 24, St. Louis 7: Sidney Rice and Mike Williams hooked up for what was, I'm sure, the most exciting play of this game. Sam Bradford continues to toil away in St. Louis and at some point Steve "Spags" Spagnuolo will be let go, right? Seattle has twice as many wins as St. Louis and both are still under .500.

Chicago 31 San Diego 20: Jay Cutler won the rivalry revival game. No one really wanted to win it, though: Both quarterbacks traded interceptions within minutes of each other in the fourth quarter; Chicago attempted a cockamamie fake punt giving the Chargers the ball back, down 11, with a minute and a half left; Philip Rivers, undeterred subsequently gave the ball right back on the very next play. Jesus.


Atlanta 23, Tennessee 17: Jake Locker threw a 40 yard touchdown to Nate Washington on his third pass of the game after replacing Matt Hasselbeck, who left the game with a strained elbow in his throwing arm. He finished the game with 190 yards and two touchdowns. The Falcons, meanwhile, acted like they have a team full of fantasy stars. Matt Ryan had 316 yards and a touchdown, Michael Turner had 100 yards and a touchdown and Roddy White added 147 yards.

San Francisco 23, Arizona 7: I'm launching a full scale investigation into the impersonation and potential kidnapping of John Skelton. "Fohn Felton" racked up only 99 yards passing and three interceptions this afternoon. Frankly, I wouldn't put it past Harbaugh. He's shifty.


Video thanks to Conor Hastings.