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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Tony Romo's commentary is mediocre as hell

Tony Romo sucks
Tony Romo sucks
Image: (Getty Images)

While we already covered Dak Prescott’s grotesque injury, a word on Tony Romo. It strains his credibility when he’s telling the nation that we can only hope it’s a cramp as we’re looking at Prescott holding his ankle that only has a tangential relationship to the rest of his leg. And only heightens the mystery as to why the football nation has embraced him as the game’s leading analyst when he adds just slightly more than an adolescent binging on Code Red on a 13-hour Madden binge.

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Romo gives you maybe three nuggets per game that you, the roundabout football fan, wouldn’t notice with your own eyes. And generally it’s predicting a play, which isn’t actually his job. The rest of the time he just makes noises like that guy you know who’s way too excited at the engagement announcement of people he barely knows, or asking Jim Nantz what he thinks. No one cares what Jim Nantz thinks. Even Jim Nantz doesn’t care what Jim Nantz thinks. Romo gets more money than you’ll ever know for narrating replays of what just happened.

Everyone hates Chris Collinsworth, even though he finds something on every play to dissect, because he sounds like a dad trying to make conversation at a punk show he had to bring his underage kids to. Tony Romo sucks, and it’s time to accept that into your heart.

Have you ever looked at a dollar bill, man?

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