Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Will Spend Six Months In Jail And Five Years On Probation

Harvey Updyke, the Alabama football fan that, in 2010, poisoned two oak trees that figure prominently in Auburn athletic traditions, and then essentially confessed to the act (a Class-C felony in Alabama) unbidden on Paul Finebaum's radio show, accepted a plea deal on Friday. While Updyke will get credit for time served on his six month jail sentence, he will nonetheless spend about half of the next decade paying his debt to society by living on fairly restrictive probation. Probably worth it, right?

Not only will Updyke be prohibited from going out at night or attending any events related to his beloved Crimson Tide, the District Attorney that set the terms of his plea bargain sounded miffed that he wasted any time putting Updyke away:

In a statement announcing the plea deal, Lee County District Attorney Robbie Treese said, “We have a significant number of violent felonies awaiting trial in Lee County, and I could not in good conscience justify financing a three-week trial merely to arrive at no better a resolution.”

Updyke had previously pleaded not guilt by reason of mental disease or defect to charges of criminal mischief, desecration of a venerated object and unlawful damage to a crop facility charges. Other conditions of his plea deal include a 7 p.m. curfew, a ban from attending any collegiate sporting event, a ban from speaking to media, and a ban from setting foot on Auburn's campus.

Rough. On days like today, we take the counsel of two of our preeminent philosophers: Martin Luther King Jr., who said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice," and Harvey Updyke himself, who in 2010 mused, "Roll damn Tide."

Harvey Updyke Pleads Guilty, Gets Six Months In Jail [CBS Sports]