Turns Out George Clooney Was Not The Biggest Cock In Ocean's Eleven: The Week In Unintentional Dongs

Welcome back to Unintentional Dong Submissions: Weekend Edition. Here are this week's everyday occurences that struck you, the reader, as phalluses. Phalli? Whatever. This one, the floor plan for the Bellagio in Ocean's Eleven comes courtesy of Mike. Be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department.

Reader Joe checks in with a dong nose that is undeterred by chilliness yet still craves a warm, cozy space.

Oliver sends in our next dong, a sand castle of sorts that appears to have been a little too zealous in entering an everlasting covenant with its creator.

The scuba diving community makes, I believe, its first appearance in our dong feature. I'll have to confirm that with the Elias Sports Bureau, but for now thanks for making history, Ben!

Joel emailed in what he termed some sort of home decor dong, but it's probably some multi-use Victorian butt plug that will fetch millions on Antiques Roadshow.

Here we have another cactus dong from Dan. Stop showing off cactus, you're making everyone else feel like lesser cacti.

Adam's wife stumbled across the Nylabone for dogs. They were both kicked out of the Garden center at Home Depot shortly thereafter.

Mike R. provides this lovely seaside vista. You can almost hear the surf break and feel the cool ocean breeze as you look off into the distance and behold the majestic power of nature.

There is nothing really outstanding about this wood other than the email address it was sent from: [email protected]. Ahahaha, AOL? Come on dongshot, you'll never be taken seriously.

Our next submission is thanks to Desmond, presented without comment.

This was named "Guatemalan dong" by reader Alex. I'm not sure if that is because it was taken in Guatemala or because all Guatemalans are covered in penises. I've never been outside.

A reader who wishes to remain anonymous sent in this children's clothes hanger dong. I'd want to remain anonymous if I had a johnson where my belly button should be, too.

Finally, Jonathan provides a duo of lobster dongs—with some side beef.