Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual.

Take it away, Daily News:

A woman paid a voodoo priest $300 to perform a ritual that promised to change her life. She came to his fourth-floor apartment in Flatbush on Feb. 19, winding up in a bedroom, the sources said.

After the ritual, the woman and the priest - he's believed to be in his 60s - stripped off their clothes and started having sex. Flames from a series of candles the priest had placed around the bed ignited the sheets. And the clothes they recently shed also went up in flames.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should always use electric candles for all your voodoo sex ritual needs.

•••••

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Brian Hickey will join you for whatever sick perverted stuff you people get up to on weekends.