Rooney is in the States for the week, doing some conditioning work at Nike's training facility. But the British tabloids note that rather than stay on Nike's campus, he's in the "strip club capital of the US." Where is that, pray tell?
Nike's facility is, of course, in Beaverton, Ore. Perhaps this comes as a surprise to our English friends, but Beaverton is not exactly a popular holiday destination. So Rooney is sensibly staying in Portland, just a few miles away.
Some enterprising scribe at The Sun picked up a travel guide and was struck with a case of the vapors when he learned that the men of Portland enjoy taking in a burlesque show now and then.
A tourist guide reveals: "With 63 breweries and brewpubs Portland has just overtaken Munich as the beer capital of the world."
It adds: "There are strip clubs on every corner too. It is one of the top party tourism destinations."
Another guide boasts that due to the unparalleled proliferation of strip joints, "you can satisfy any number of naked girl desires".
It also points out that local laws allow men to ogle exotic dancers while boozing and dining.
Let's just be clear here that The Sun's sole source for this story — which receives the coveted "exclusive" banner — is a Lonely Planet Pacific Northwest guide. Still, it's enough for them to fret over The Last Temptation Of Wazza, who's been known to have a weakness for hookers. Perhaps he'll demand a transfer to the Portland Timbers, who join MLS next year.