Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill.
Maxim magazine has published a list of the dumbest dumbasses in sports. If you guessed that dumbass Dan Snyder-signing Albert Haynesworth made the cut, you are correct. If you guessed that dumbass litigant Dan Snyder made the list, you are also correct! Details:
$41 Million Man-Child: Albert Haynesworth
In some ways Haynesworth is a genius for fleecing the Redskins (and fellow honoree Dan Snyder) out of $41 million in guaranteed money for two rotten years on the field.
In other ways Haynesworth is still the guy who was charged with simple assault and accused of sexual assault within 10 days in February. Why he didn't assault a third person for the trifecta is a mystery we'll never fully grasp. ...
D.C. Dingbat: Dan Snyder
Everyone thinks of the Redskins' owner as a petulant, spoiled, miserable little asshole. But don't forget stupid! Let's call him stupid too! Every year this man runs the Redskins into the ground, and every year he learns absolutely nothing from his mistakes. In fact, he finds a way to become even more hardheaded and deaf to fan complaints. "You don't like us trading away draft picks? Well, now we're gonna trade away more draft picks! And we're gonna scalp a baby at halftime of every home game!"
The coup de grace came this February, when Snyder decided to sue the Washington City Paper for "defamation." The City Paper's chief crime? Drawing devil horns on the owner's picture, which Snyder deemed anti-Semitic. Snyder clearly hopes the lawsuit will force other critics to reconsider before they go saying bad things about him. Luckily, truth is a defense to libel. So we say: Dan Snyder, you are a stubborn, arrogant, stupid little shit.
Maxim hammering Dan Snyder makes him something of a soft target. But it's not like anyone is kicking the crutch out from under the village cripple in order to watch him squirm in the mud. Dan Snyder descended into the mire of his own volition. He's not squirming. He's wallowing.
Please help the City Paper stop the wallowing with a donation to the weekly's legal defense fund.