We Figured Out How To Shoehorn Kim Kardashian's Shiny Ass Onto Our Site

All week, we've been wondering how we could get Kim Kardashian's large, glistening ass on Deadspin. She didn't make it easy for us, did she? She could've held a football, for instance. Or she could've scheduled a mountain stage of the Tour de France along her adductors. Kim did no such thing, however, and people who wanted to see her butt were forced to visit less reputable sites. But, glorioski, what do we have here? Why, it's an interview with Kim's ex, NBA player Kris Humphries:

"I'm not someone who's paying attention to things that don't really matter in my world," he said when asked how he handles seeing his ex and her family splashed all over the headlines. "I mean, a lot of times I don't even know what's going on."

Phew. Now that we've done our job, here's Kim Kardashian's large, glistening ass: