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We Have Discovered Proto-Nightmare Bear. He Is The Worst Nightmare Bear

The above photo was taken in July of 2007, and it is the oldest image of Nightmare Bear that exists in the AP image archive. Finally, we can trace the ever-evolving Nightmare Bear's birth back to this one dark day.

We can only assume that the people in this photo, who surely make up some kind of Putin-led Russian Illuminati, are seconds away from performing a blood ritual (someone should tell that guy in the back to pay attention, though), that will bring Nightmare Bear to life. In this photo he's just a collection of animal bones sewn up in a sack made up of various bleached pelts, no doubt the result of some typical Russian experiments. Proto-Nightmare Bear does not appear to have arms or legs in this photo. We prefer not to think about how he eventually procured some.


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