Forget about holding her hand, man. Think about the damage he could do to other places.

The light concealing cream goes on first. Then you blend, and blend, and blend. Blending is the secret.

If you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.


• TiVo
• Subaru
• Amazon Anywhere
• Project Kuros
• The Whitest Kids U'Know