Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

We Now Return You To "The Man From Rio" Already In Progress

Now Ted, a person's life is filled with a zillion little experiences. Some which are insignificant, have no meaning, and, you know, you forget them. Others, you remember for the rest of your natural life. Now, since what we're proposing here is so unusual, so outside the norm, this is a good bet that is going to be one of those incidents that sticks. So, since you're gonna be stuck remembering this for the rest of your life, you have to decide what that memory will be. So, Ted, are you going to remember for the next 40 years, give or take a decade, that you refused a $1000 for one second's worth of work? Or that you made $1000 for one second's worth of work?

If your way of breaking the news to him is scaring the fuck out of him, then you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

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