Week In Deadspin: Sexagenarians, Headbutts And Bears, Oh My!

• Get this folks: Danica Patrick needs to occasionally use a tampon! No way! • MIke Cooper is sentenced and Deadspin is THERE! • Sigh. Another Rocky movie. • Hey, rugby players have to pee too! • Rick Chandler is having tons of fun in Tahoe. • Zinedine Zidane had a somewhat busy week. • It's your ESPN gift bag. • The Home Run Derby makes our ears bleed. • Which athlete is gonna die? • Man, the Phillies sure do have some dumb-ass owners. • The creepiest hockey figurine of all time. • That's just simply J.R. being Isaiah.

That'll do it for us, folks. Enjoy The Mighty MJD, who is back from his vacation and ready to rip 'em up this weekend. (If you haven't read his letter from Chris Berman's dog, you're just not being fair to yourself.)

As for us, we are proud to be back in our beloved Midwest all of next week. Monday-Wednesday, we'll be in St. Louis, taking in the new Busch Stadium for the first time, Thursday we're in Champaign, Ill., and Friday-Sunday, we are reveling in Bagelfest, the yearly celebration of the glazed, ring-shaped roll with a tough, chewy texture in our hometown of Mattoon, Ill. We'll still be doing the site all week, so expect plenty of reports on cow-tipping and how much more we liked the old Busch. Enjoy.