Week In Deadspin: That's The News, And We Are Outta Here

• A difficult morning for Dontrelle Willis. • Meet the Crimson Hawk. • Any excuse to use the tag! • This matchup is not as close as we thought it might be. • That's a tough way to be eliminated from the Asian Games. • The best in stretcher-related injuries. • Tony Dungy ... HANDSOME! • Desmond Howard, finger on the pulse. • This is totally what we wore to prom. • Allen Iverson was traded, and ESPN didn't quite tell you first. • Deron Williams, Stephon Marbury and the cabal. • All Arena League games now come with CHEESY DOODLES!

All right, kids: It's time for us to get a way for a while. Our vacation begins right after Christmas, and we'll be back on January 4. We've got a gaggle of fill-ins, and the great Rick Chandler will still be here ... and he'll be signing his posts! (So you'll finally know.) We will miss you a lot more than you'll miss us, we're sure. If Tony LaRussa suddenly snaps and eats a live cow while we're gone, it'll be up to someone else to tackle it.

Have a happy holidays, everyone, and be safe on those roads: There are crazies out there! Do be safe out there, and if your cousin sneaks toward you holding a mistletoe, for god's sake, run!