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• We weep for the little people, we weep for injustice, we weep for lost souls ... oh, how we weep!
• Run, run, for the hills! Save yourself! The blogs, they are a-comin'!
• Ozzie Guillen will hit you with a chair.
Colin Cowherd is a goddamned pirate! Yar!
• Sorry, but murdering the Applebee's guys does not count as justifiable homicide. We checked.
• In a way, Reggie Jackson is kind of like a poet.
• ESPN tried to make Barry Bonds' steroid story into their story, and you know what? They kind of pulled it off.
• Coach K eats children. Look, we have proof!
• Well, it depends what your definition of "lap dance" is. Wait. OK. That's kind of our definition of it too. Now, stop please. We're all out of singles.

Well, that was kind of a fun week. For anyone who might happen to be new around here, The Mighty MJD takes over the site on the weekends, and he'll be around tomorrow to track tournament fun for you. If you need to know which posts are which: If something's written in the first person singular, it's MJD. If it's written in the obnoxious, faux-pretention royal we; that would be us. Enjoy your weekend.