We're One Game Into The Season And Brad Marchand Is Already Being A Prick

The defending champion Capitals rained righteous hellfire on the Boston Bruins Wednesday night, crushing them 7-0 in front of a celebratory crowd in their season opener. The Bruins are a bunch of ornery bastards when they’re up 7-0, but when Caps center Lars Eller picked up the last of his team’s goals midway through the third, star winger Brad Marchand— he of the licking controversy in last year’s playoffs—just totally lost control.

At a pretty random moment with about six minutes remaining, Marchand decided to go after Eller with his fists. Eller doesn’t fight and really just threw a couple of courtesy punches, but Marchand went off, leaving Eller with a trail of blood running down the side of his face thanks to a couple of hard blows.

So ... why?

Oh. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you. What is this, baseball? You’re going to endanger a opponent’s well-being because he was happy that he scored? I can’t believe this even needs to be said, but if Brad Marchand is so mad about another team being happy that they’re up 7-0 on a banner-raising night at home, maybe he and the Bruins shouldn’t suck so much that they need to worry about that situation at all.

Anyway, Capitals-Bruins rematch is on Jan. 10. And yeah, Tom Wilson’s suspension will be done by then.