The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?

Week 8 winner: Portland and Salem, Ore.

I really don't get this one. Indianapolis vs. Tennessee could be a fun matchup of two young QBs who cut their teeth on the West Coast: Andrew Luck (Stanford) vs. Jake Locker (Washington). Except ...

  1. It's clearly not fun enough to give either the Bay Area or Washington this game.
  2. Jake Locker is still injured.
  3. People in Oregon hate him.

CBS has the AFC package and the AFC sucks this year, so none of these games is a standout. The Dolphins could make the Great Leap Forward, though, plus the Rams get screwed out of a home game, which is always nice, I suppose.


As several commenters pointed out last week, the networks seem to assume that Oregon roots for the Seahawks, and this is incorrect. Seattle's been as much of a surprise as Detroit has been a disappointment, but it would probably be more interesting to watch the Falcons try to stay undefeated against the NFL's ultimate wildcard. Oh, and Andy Reid has won 13 consecutive games after a bye week.


Everyone gets Giants vs. Cowboys (except Kansas City, which is playing at home in the CBS late game). Boooooooring.

Top image by Jim Cooke.