Xavier Musketeers

1. Can't touch this! Junior guard Stanley Burrell is the second leading scorer for the Musketeers. No, not that Stanley Burrell!. The Xavier student section had nicknamed him "The Hammer" before he even set foot on campus.

2. Dinner at 4...in bed by 9! Xavier has one of the oldest, most experienced squads in college basketball. Their players stay all four years, and they graduate. They have nine upperclassman on their roster. Throw in the dismissed Dedrick Finn, and Xavier's starting five would include four seniors and one junior. Fans across the Atlantic 10 constantly say to themselves, "Wait, Doellman is STILL there? That guy has to be like 60!"

3. The poop of angels. The University of Cincinnati is Xavier's main rival. If you think Duke and UNC are close (10 miles), Xavier and UC are only 3 miles apart. Skyline Chili is the sponsor of the annual Xavier vs. Cincinnati Crosstown Shootout/hatefest. For those of you not familiar with Skyline, I suggest you suck it up and make a trip to the greater Cincinnati area and try a delicious coney or 3-way. Yes, I know it's "in Ohio" but trust me when I say that Skyline chili truly is "the poop of angels." — Scott DeMange