Zach Randolph Has Miserable Sex Shows

So if you're not up on all the details of the Zach Randolph sexual assault case, The Oregonian has the brutal details of the case (in PDF form) — for which Randolph will not be charged; prosecutors said they couldn't find enough evidence that the sex wasn't consensual — and it's anything but pleasant.

The woman who filed the complaint said Randolph was disappointed that the [paid] sex show had only simulated sex and refused to pay her. After the show, she said, she had consensual sex with Randolph's friend and then fell asleep or "passed out." She claimed she awoke and found Randolph trying to have anal sex with her. She told investigators she awoke and "slapped" Randolph away twice. Ultimately, she told police that Randolph lifted her onto a table and had sex with her while she shook her head "no," the memo says.

It's a brutal document, and it makes the supposedly glorious life of an NBA star sound boozy, drowsy and extremely unhappy. And pathetic, from all sides.

The Dirty Details Of The Zach Randolph Case [True Hoop] Zach Randolph Memo [The Oregonian] (PDF)