Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough.
You've put on a couple. Me too. It's been a hell of a winter. But spring training's here, which means it's time to drink ourselves back into shape. I know it's still freezing out, but dignity demands that we put away the mayonnaise hot toddies and the pulled pork stouts, because March is the month we get simultaneously liquored up and slimmed down. Maybe we'll switch to light beer?