Deadspin
Apologies in advance for this item. You should know that, if you click on it, there will be a Britney Spears photo, the weekend box office receipts for Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the headline: Jamie Lynn's baby-daddy is a 'lying, cheating dog.' Hey, it's New Year's Eve; who's reading this anyway? On to the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson news.
Although Patriots quarterback Tom Brady seems more the go-to man for football advice, not relationship advice (just ask Bridget Moynahan), Brady has reached out to Jessica Simpson's new man, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, to warn him about bringing his girl to games. "After that debacle of a game with Jessica being flashed on the screens during every play, Tom told Tony to put a stop to allowing Jess to come to games. Think about it: How often do you see Gisele [Bundchen] cheering Tom on?" said a friend of Brady's.
Frankly I get a kick out of the image of Brady and Romo talking to each other on the phone about their girlfriends. Are they lying on their respective beds, with stuffed animals all around, and a lot of open magazines? Is one of Romo's magazines Tiger Beat?
Keep Jessica Away From Games, Says Tom Brady [MSNBC]
(UPDATE: Watchdog claims Gisele was there after all. We thought we could trust you, Tom.)
Comments
Rick, are you getting paid time and a half?
I had no idea Alvin and The Chipmunks had made that much money
I'm off to write a children's movie involving woodlands creatures!
Are things really that slow today?
Tony: "Gosh, I sure hope Jessica asks me to the Sadie Hawkins dance..."
Tom: "If she does, do you want to double with me and Gisele? I can totally get us a sweet table at Bennigans."
Tony: "Cool."
Who knew Jamie Lynn had hooked up with Elijah?
"Tony, you got to keep it out of the open, like your relationship with Peter King."
Alvin is fucking rich.
If by stuffed animals you mean goats, I think that would be pretty accurate.
I'd like to point out that Jessica Simpson's new movie, Blonde Ambition was shown in only 8 theaters and made an average of $165 per theater in its first weekend. That's less money than a few movies that were shown in only 1 theater, and significantly less than a couple IMAX movies for the same weekend.
Brady Quinn Is Giving Homo Dating Advice Now?
\ amaeci-ed
Boobs for boobs.
Courtney Hazlett: Yes.
Rick, how did you get ahold of Romo's high school homecoming picture?
They get on the phone and laugh at Tony Hawk for banging Brady Quinn's ugly sister.
Brady: Don't let her attend your games man, it will take the focus away from you.
Romo: OK.
Brady: You should date her for a couple of years. When you find out she's pregnant, dump her for a hot supermodel. Children are a distraction, and you'll probably be tired of hitting it anyway.
Romo: So that's the secret to becoming a Super Bowl quarterback?
Brady: ...Sure Tony.
On Fridays, Tony sleeps over at Tom's. They stay up all night giggling and talking, and painting each other's toes.
@Chief Wahoo: AJ's the master of the kickflip mctwist
Call me old fashioned, but doesn't unsolicited relationship advice warrant a punch in the face?
@Chief Wahoo: Tony Hawk too? That girl gets around.
@scottsargent: AJ Hawk pro-skater can be found in the discount bin at the supermarket
@nationalcoholic: There's hawks in that thing too! He Hates Hawks!
My bad. AJ, not Tony.
Is it wrong that I like Britney now more than I ever have? I have a huge weakness for white trash and she is the ultimate catch.
Romo looks like he's at his date's house, about to go to Junior Prom.
Carrie Underwood is hate-fucking Sage Rosefels as we speak.
If I led the League in smiles, I wouldn't be taking advice from the lowly guy who led the league in TDs, Yards and Passer Rating. Just sayin...
@jwaves: That gave me an idea.
I think we should all go over to Gawker for the day and have celebrity talk AND dick jokes, and wait for the sissies to kick us out.
*Rosenfels
@Stev D: I loved AJ's turn on Spenser: For Hire.
If you look at the pages of Tony's math notebook you will see Mr. Jessica Simpson written a myriad of ways.
Mr. and Mrs. Jessica Simpson
Mr. Tony Romo-Simpson
Mr. Anthony Simpson-Romo
Lucky ol' Sage. But what about Parsley, Rosemary ad Thyme? Are THEY getting any play?
Keeping Jessica Simpson away from a camera is like trying to keeping a moth away from the flame. That blonde ain't staying home.
@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: It is making a shit load of money because there are n other family films out right now. Can't exactly take the SCREAMING KIDS WHO HAVE BEEN ON BREAK FOR TWO WEEKS OMG WHEN DOES SCHOOL START BACK UP AGAIN to "No Country for Old Men".
@Tuffy: SPEN-SAH!
/my mom watched the shit out of some Spenser
@TheStarterWife: I understood the reasoning as to why it had made so much money - and that's why my new masterpiece Billy and The Beavers will be in theatres Christmas 2009.
SO LONG SUCKERS!!
@TheStarterWife: Yeah, the kids I used to babysit were pretty upset when they found out "Schindler" wasn't really German for "Santa" and it was a whole different kind of list. Wonder why the parents never hire me anymore?
@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: Shaven or unshaven?
@Stev D: Call me old fashioned ... but I think we should worship the sun and moon as powerful gods, and fear them.
@Weed Against Speed: I am shocked that you would imply that my movie's title has some alternate meaning.
Prevert.
@Chief Wahoo: They were probably upset that their last name was Schindler and Santa wasn't coming anyway.
@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: but nc-17 movies don't tend to do so well with the under-12 set.
do you think when romo has sex with jessica simpson sometimes he hears echos of "there's only one october!" coming out of her pus... sna... vagi... bloody axe wou... the place where girls pee? i bet he does and it drives him into a blind rage.
Ah! Nickname!
@I Heart Poop: thank you for that slice of nightmare fuel.
"First of all Romo, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Jessica. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Romo. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV"
@TheStarterWife: Yet I Am Legend has done $200 mil. Feel-good movie of the year, I tell you.
threadjack
Lou Holtz is giving the Illini a pep talk right now and it rules.
/threadjack
@Signal to Noise: I hate being at work and missing things like this.
I hear he also told Brady Quinn to stop bringing Sir Ian McKellan to Browns games. What a cougar that Sir Ian is.
Will there be a MJD post today?
@Wee_Evans: hey! you leave Fagneto out of this!
Can't believe no one has done this yet but; yes, douche.
@katolesce: how does he balance that with the advice that he receives from Roy Williams?
"Four: When ordering food, make sure you stay in the drive-thru; this way, she doesn't expect you to carry her tray or throw out the garbage or nothin'. Find out what she wants, then make sure that its either a combo or dollar menu item-for example, the No. 1 with cheese, or two double cheese burgers, small fries and a small lemonade. And if she ever gets you to go to a sit-down place (with napkins, tableclothes and all that shit), make sure you don't listen to her tipping business...completely unnecessary."
/horribly bored at work
@Wee_Evans: You're just jealous.
@Juancho: (to clarify) That we have 2 decent QBs.
@Dr. Spaceman: I have high hopes. There was a Debriefing today.
@Juancho: Horse Balls and who's the other one?
Brady: Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think we should worship the sun and moon as powerful gods, and fear them.
Romo: Hmmm......
@Chief Wahoo: Wait a second, don't you mean AJ Hawk? (In my defense, I was reading that thread again. LOLcats, Steelers/Browns fans bashing each other, wedding gowns, and Billy Idol? Fucking priceless.)
@Lamppost: +1!
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but when the giant that holds up the earth dies? We are screwwwwwwwwwwwed.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Save this post, my friend. Brady is going to be a great success at QB if the Browns give him a shot. I think he'll be much better than DA.
@SuperFrankieLampard: I feel children prefer a softer porn...
/Chris Farley as Sen. Howard Heflin
[snltranscripts.jt.org]
Jesus, I am slow on the uptake today.
I thought that heading above the pic of Brittany said "Side Show"...
I'm thinking that Tom Brady and Tony Romo are in each others Fav 5 - not sure if either sends a lot of texts to their BFF Rose though. What is more certain is that they have a burn book dedicated to the Manning family.
@clarep: You were supposed to save the hangover for tomorrow.
@Chief Wahoo: Do what? Quinn will be blessed if his pro career goes as well as Todd Collins' has. 2 words: Ryan Leaf, my