Hi there. After last night's Mets and Brewers victories, I'm legitimately worried. This time of the year it's all about momentum and those teams have it and the Phillies, sadly, do not. I'll say it right now — if the Phillies lose tonight, the season's over. As a long-suffering Philadelphia fan everything is set up to go horribly wrong right now. A hot dog explosion might do us all some good.

So tonight the season rests upon Joe Blanton's meaty haunches. Regardless if the Phillies win or lose, though it's an incredible weekend to be a baseball fan (weather permitting.) The debate can wait. Let's get to recapping and happy hour-ing.

Week stuff:

• John Clayton needs some Beano

• Cooley's mom responds

• USC gets taken out by a pack of wild beavers

• Millen gets put out pasture

• Tim Kawakmi gets Black Holed

• Buzzsaw'd

• I love the Nazi Shark

That's it. This weekend, your KOGOD minions are one Josh Zerkle and an Italian kid with a funny name. They should be quite busy. I believe Sussman is live bloggin' like Dave Coggin on Sunday night too.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Leave the gun, take the Skeets.