Meme enthusiast Curt Schilling has fulfilled his destiny, not merely endorsing Donald Trump but publishing a vigorous and detailed 1,500 word screed on his personal website explaining why he’s doing so.

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I feel a little conflicted about even pointing this out; for all his bigoted, dehumanizing, and just plain dumb opinions, Curt Schilling is a legendary retired ballplayer who needs to log off, not The Enemy, and “Look at this unemployed guy no one takes seriously express terrible opinions!” isn’t really the highest use to which the internet can be put. On the other hand, this is absolutely everything you could hope for from a 1,500 word endorsement of Donald Trump Curt Schilling published on his personal website. If that sounds like the sort of thing you might enjoy reading, I urge you to read it in full; if not, here are some of my favorite parts:

I’ve known Mr. Trump for a little over a decade. Our first encounter, and subsequent encounters, had to do with his request for me to appear on the apprentice.

We spoke at length every time we got together.

I realized very quickly this was a man decisive in action and confident in his ability.

While I don’t agree with him there are two incredibly important things he possesses that neither candidate on the Soviet ticket do. He loves this country. You can laugh, you can mock, but you also are full of crap if the current administration has ever given you the confidence that they love this nation above all else. He will protect my family, and my loved ones.

Let me also comment on you frauds in the liberal media.

But your liberal agenda has you lying your asses off to a group of people too lazy to do the work on their own, to listen and decide on their own.

But you knew that, just like you know Hillary Clinton is as guilty as the day is long, and as responsible for the deaths of 4 Americans, including an ambassador she was sworn to protect.

Those that still listen and believe you, and the massive amount of misinformation you publish are the lazy sheep and apathetic folks who will pull a lever for the felon or the socialist come next election.

You college folks in love with Mr Sanders, a man I think is too far left for election in the Soviet Union I will say this.

I trust [Donald Trump] to create a team of military minds that will keep me safe

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