albertburneko Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Home Fries, The Breakfast Of Sluggards
The basic idea is that breakfast is supposed to supply your wretched, dead-eyed carcass with enough chemical energy to work itself up into a state vaguely similar to the authentic vitality of the functional, well-adjusted people edging away from you in half-concealed disgust on the bus. This is why...
Why Is My Beef Stew So Damn Boring?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
That Is One Mighty Looking Sandwich
Here's a Foodspin reader offering up this monstrosity as a notable foodstuff of the state of New Jersey. It goes by the name "Sloppy Joe," although I think most people will find that it has precious little in common with the disreputable but delicious brick-colored-beef-slop-on-a-bun usually associ...
How To Make Beef Stroganoff, Which, Hey, Remember Beef Stroganoff?
Remember Beef Stroganoff? That gray mushroomy stuff your adult caregiver made a few times back when you were a kid, and then it vanished off the face of the earth, and then you completely forgot it existed, and now you're going, "Oh, yeah—Stroganoff! Whatever happened to that stuff?"...
This Courtroom Sketch Of Guy Fieri Is Just Delightful
Somebody stole Guy Fieri's car and then (allegedly) attempted to murder someone. Guy had to testify in court. Someone else had to draw a picture of it. And now the horror of murder (and the lesser horror of auto theft) has been mitigated ever so slightly, by the most wonderful illustration of all ti...
Kraft Mac: Now Marginally Less Like A Shredded Raincoat
Great news! Thanks to some concerted petitioning by concerned citizens, Kraft Food Group Inc. has agreed to remove the hilariously artificial-looking yellow dye from some varieties of its boxed mac-and-cheese. One synthetic and likely radioactive ingredient down, 927 to go!...
Halloween Trick-Or-Treating Treats, Ranked
1. Junior Mints...
Guy Fieri Flips Out On His Hairdresser, Which Makes Good Sense
Presumably in the immediate aftermath of his first visit to an optometrist in more than a decade, anthropomorphized Lime-A-Rita Guy Fieri and his hairdresser had a bit of a tiff in broad public view, leading to crying and shouting and embarrassment, not unlike what happens when you spend more than t...
Your Chinese Street-Food Was Probably Cooked In Poop Oil
Well, this is horrifying. Street vendors in China have taken to using something called "gutter oil"—quite literally the oil gathered from gutter runoff, dumpster sludge, garbage juice, and untreated fucking sewage fuck fuck fuck—to cook food for human consumption. And then unwitting humans are con...
Californians Fail To Appreciate Inescapable, Burning Sriracha Odor
Officials of the city of Irwindale—a California town presumably situated in the ominous shadow of a Huy Fong Foods factory that looms all flecked with lightning and emitting constant spooky organ music atop the local hill—have filed suit against the makers of the delicious sriracha chili sauce, for ...
Screw Your Pumpkin Flavors: How To Make Apple Crumble
Fun fact! Careful examination of the historical record reveals that, whatever the goddamn Starbucks menu may suggest to the contrary, the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs between Sept. 15 and Dec. 20 is not a capital crime. Whether the consumption of non-pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs i...
Ted Cruz Hates Avocados, Is Incapable Of Non-Stupid Opinions
I mean ho-leeeeee shit. This is at least—at least!—2.7 times worse than the time he orchestrated the shutdown of the federal government for no goddamn reason....
What Can I Do With This Liquid Smoke Stuff?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Visits A Beer Festival, And It's Great
The beers! The paunches! The ridiculous facial-hair arrangements! It's the Great American Beer Festival, brought to you by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Personal favorite: "Besides craft brewing, how long have you been pursuing Moby-Dick?"...
Awful Person Pays $100,000 To Be Guy Fieri's Pretend Friend
Let it never be said that hedge-fund billionaire Steven A. Cohen has an eye for a bargain: The poor bastard paid a hundred grand to go on a day-long playdate with Guy Fieri, when, for the same net effect, he could have dropped maybe $25 for a sandwich-board and enough red paint to scrawl "I AM A SAD...
My Americone Dream Had A Goddamn Hair In It
Sorry for making fun of your maple syrup, assholes....
Poor Bastard Reviews Regional Foodstuffs At Worst Possible Time
Hey, here's a fun, engaging, funny article about the signature foods of American cities that Deadspin regular Carrie Hunt And The Spoonerisms happened to write at the absolute worst moment in all of human history for doing that. Enjoy! I'm sure no one anywhere will be driven to a frothing rage by ...
The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped
What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu!...
How To Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It Goddamn Tastes Great
The first thing to do is clear up any misconceptions that the reason to make mashed cauliflower, and not mashed potatoes, is that mashed cauliflower is the more calorically or nutritionally upstanding choice. If that is what you are thinking, stop thinking that, because that is stupid. You're stup...