barryap Page 513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carmelo Anthony Is The Panda Whisperer
Melo is traveling across Asia on a Nike promotional tour, and as we all know there's nothing to do in China but pose with disoriented panda cubs on your lap. Look at that thing! Its little paws joined in supplication, its little panda cloaca (or whatever) splayed to the world. Panda doesn't care abo...
A Ball From Josh Beckett Touches This Child Like Nothing Else Can
Baseballs are the most important thing on earth. It's time we stopped pretending they aren't....
Hideki Irabu, Dead At 42
Irabu was found dead at his home in Los Angeles, and police are investigating it as a suicide. He last pitched in MLB for the Rangers in 2002, and most recently with an independent league team in 2009. [Asahi Shumbun]...
The Million-Dollar Monaco Fender-Bender
Mercedes, Ferrari, Porsche, Bentley, Aston Martin — five great tastes that don't go together when you smash them all together like a little kid playing with toy cars. Of course this went down in Monte Carlo, which combines all the pretentiousness of Vegas with all the pretentiousness of France....
A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....
OK, This Might Be One Of The Least Likely Sports Fetishes Of All Time
Turned on yet? This is just one of a huge collection of videos of women's soccer players spitting. That's all. Not playing. Not celebrating. Just spitting. The fact that they're clearly filmed directly off the TV screen makes it even creepier....
Unconscionable Neymar Goal Highlights A Very Brazilian Night Of Soccer
We grab your attention with this, Neymar's first of two scores on the night, a one-of-a-kind run through the Flamengo defense. But we really wanted to highlight the entirety of one of the more thrilling games in recent memory. (If you've got 90 minutes to kill, the whole match is on YouTube)....
Presenting The Ex-Future Mrs. Jay Cutler
As opposed to the future ex-Mrs. Cutler, who is whichever C-lister the Bears QB will glom on to next in his never-ending quest to be a star (just playing football's not cutting it)....
The London Olympic Medals Are Here, And They've Got That Weird Lisa Simpson Blowjob Logo
With a year to go before the London Games, they've been having all sorts of ceremonies to start the countdown. Today saw the unveiling of the designs for the medals, which will be the heaviest (though not the largest) ever handed out....
Colby Rasmus Is Thrilled That Obama Isn't President In Canada
With Rasmus moving north of the border, Joe Sports Fan thought it would be a good time to unveil this undated photo of Colby making his political views known in the most effective way known to man — via t-shirt. So in a way, Rasmus is like everyone who's ever bitched that if an election didn't go th...
Michael Vick Loses An Endorsement Deal, And Not Because He Killed A Bunch Of Dogs
Just two weeks ago, Vick signed a deal to be the face of EnerJel, a nutritional supplement/energy boost that you can rub into your skin. Because swallowing Gatorade was getting too difficult. But this was a product whose time has come, and Vick was clearly the only man who could bring it to the mass...
Deconstructing Last Night's Most Amazing Moment: Scott Proctor's Faceplant
Lots of wacky things are bound to happen in a 19-inning game, but I don't think anyone will be able to forget the lasting image of this morning's Pirates-Braves marathon: Scott Proctor tripping over his own feet while coming out of the batters box. Thankfully MLB.com was all over the replays on th...
Where NFL Rumors Are Born, Pat Devlin Is In The Details
We got an email last night from "prism" with the subject line: How Sports Media Blows, and it was a series of links in chronological order....
Jeff Saturday On Hugging It Out
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Colts and Patriots, sitting in a tree....
The First Rounder Who'd Rather Play For The Long Island Ducks Than Sign With The Astros
The Astros are high on UConn outfielder George Springer, who they took last month with the 11th overall pick. How high? He's got some wondering if Hunter Pence isn't now expendable. But the deadline to agree to terms is August 15th, and Springer spent his weekend on Long Island, meeting with the GM ...
The Incomparable Ichiro Swings Through
Two surefire Hall of Famers played in the Bronx last night. One is having the worst season of his career at 37 years old, hitting nearly 60 points off his lifetime average, and still getting paid $17 million. The other one is Derek Jeter....
Michael "Cy" Cuddyer Was The Twins' Best Pitcher Last Night
I think it's safe and hyperbole-free to say there's nothing we enjoy more in professional sports than when a position player has to come on to pitch. There's always a mix of emotions - the game's already a blowout, so most players just want to get it over with and go home. But for the spot relieve...
Jay Cutler Re-Lists Himself As Single On Facebook (UPDATE: Fraudulence!)
(Ed note: NBC now retracts their earlier report, confirming that the Cutler Facebook page was a fake. I'll leave this post up so you can point and laugh at me.)...
This Is How Kris Draper Ends: Not With A Bang But A Premature Photo Caption
After being traded to the Red Wings for the princely sum of one American dollar, Kris Draper racked up quite the career over 17 years in Detroit. But this past season was a disappointing one for the 40-year-old Draper, in which he missed nearly half his team's games with injuries and (more tellingly...
Qatar Will Soon Host Every Sporting Event
Not content with a World Cup, the Emir of Qatar has set into motion his plans to host the ceremonial first leg of the 2016 Tour De France. While it's not unprecedented to hold the Grand Depart in a neighboring country, it would be something else to stick it in the Middle East, where, as FIFA seems t...