billyhaisley Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
West Ham Players Get Naked To Remind You To Feel On Your Balls
Not, like, in a sexual way—though that's good, too. It's part of The Sun's November "Feel 'em Friday" campaign to encourage men to rub around down there for evidence of testicular cancer. We're awaiting next week's step-by-step diagrams where Kevin Nolan demonstrates proper technique....
Bad Molly Takes Colorado State Student On Insane, Masturbatory Rampage
We've heard of poppin' some molly and sweatin', but not popping molly, snorting some coke, car-jacking an ambulance, careening every which way through traffic, and then jerking off in the police station. That'd probably make for a better song, though....
Michael Beasley Reduced To Status As Kevin Durant Flunky
At one point early on in The Offseason: Kevin Durant, that HBO reality show aimed at getting its star better endorsement deals, walking brand Kevin Durant flies some of his buddies out to Los Angeles, where they intend to stay for the summer. We're introduced to Childhood Friend Cliff Dixon, Manager...
Relegation-Bound Team Willing To Consider Thinking About Moyes
When we last touched base with disgraced former manager David Moyes, he impressed us with both his shocking lack of foresight and his optimism at getting a good new gig sometime soon. Well, Real Sociedad may not be in the Champions League, and they might be in the early stages of a relegation battle...
Damning Emails Show The NCAA Was "Bluffing" On Penn State
Who wants to read some internal emails that make the NCAA look incompetent, reactionary, and completely unable to justify its own authority? ...
Dozens Of Seagulls Straight Chillin' On The Pitch At Aussie Soccer Match
These are the highlights of Melbourne Victory's 2-0 win over Wellington Phoenix. More impressive than either goal scored is that the match continued on in the middle of a veritable bird storm, with dozens of gulls just walking on or flitting about the field and players like they owned the place....
The Brits Are Tearing Shit Up In Madrid
It's comforting to know Americans aren't the only ones known for loud and obnoxious behavior when abroad. Our cousins over in England are similarly famous for heading over to mainland Europe and bringing the ruckus. Hence these British fans in Madrid ahead of today's Liverpool-Real Madrid match, and...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Fuck Kevin Durant
Tomorrow night, the world will be subjected to The Offseason: Kevin Durant, an HBO show marketed as a documentary that depicts what The Servant has been up to since the end of the Western Conference Finals. You might think it would be interesting, seeing that over the summer Durant (briefly) played ...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'm Not Based Today, That's The Day I Bleed
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let's go....
Fanboy Government Agents Illegally Spied On Costa Rican World Cup Hero
Keylor Navas was the best player on a Costa Rica team that exceeded all expectations in this summer's World Cup. Because of the goalkeeper's heroics, neutrals fell in love with him, Real Madrid fell in love with him, and Costa Ricans especially fell in love with him—a little too much, it turns out....
That Isn't Mario Balotelli, You Dimwitted Politician
Does that look like Mario Balotelli to you?...
Idiot On The Field Slaps Franck Ribéry With Scarf, Flips Him Double Bird
Just because your team was getting spanked 3-1 by Bayern in the DFB Pokal doesn't give you the right to accost Mr. Ribéry like that, Hamburg fan. Though the surprising part is how rarely soccer idiots on the field are malicious assholes like this guy....
You Have To See These Indonesian Soccer Dudes Throw This Match
Words like "unbelievable" are thrown around too often in sports, but the highlight video above and especially the extended clips below of two Indonesian soccer teams throwing a match is exactly what the word unbelievable was meant to express. But then you realize that they're doing so to maybe save ...
Luis Suárez Is All The Way Back
Like, c'mon. This shouldn't be legal. Sure, it's only the Catalan Supercup, but Espanyol are a real team and Luis Suárez still had to juke the defender out of his shorts before chipping an outrageous pass onto the head of Gerard Piqué. Here's the vine:...
Ronaldo's Girlfriend Reacts To Flirty Jokes With Coldest Ice-Grill
Just look at that face. Yes, it's the face of Irina Shayk, super model and Cristiano Ronaldo's long-time girlfriend, but it's also the face of a woman that is FED. UP. with jokes about her man's underwear modeling and waxing regimen....
How The Cavaliers' Old Court Ended Up In A High School Gym
The coliseum referenced on the basketball court above is the Richfield Coliseum, once home to the Cleveland Cavaliers. It's the very same floor on which Michael Jordan dusted Craig Ehlo, and now it belongs to a high school in Virginia. ...
Even Carlo Ancelotti Wishes Sepp Blatter Would Shut The Fuck Up
FIFA has released its Ballon d'Or shortlist, which means Sepp Blatter can take time away from his day job of punching up FIFA propaganda and gets to enjoy some of that media facetime he loves so much. Like you, Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti would prefer Sepp spared us his hot takes....
The Assassination Of Iker Casillas By The Coward José Mourinho
Real Madrid handily beat Barcelona this weekend, with adulation bestowed upon many of the individual victors for their performance. Isco proved his grit and talent in fighting for a spot on a team lousy with great attacking midfielders and excelling when given the chance. James Rodríguez showed why ...
Spanish Player Hits Referee, Himself In The Face With Basketball
Unlike that tennis lineswoman, this basketball referee definitely has an excuse for crumpling to the ground after Sergio Llull of Real Madrid Baloncesto's errant pass bounds directly into his face. Llull even gets a taste of his own medicine when the thing doinks off the ref's head and into his own....