christmas-ape-old Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Behold The Money Saving Power of The Patch
However you feel about the Arena Football League being shoved down our throat in that oh-so conflict of interest-y way by ESPN, its most popular team has a pretty cool promotion going on. All citizens living in Morrisville, the hometown of Philadelphia Soul receiver Chris Jackson, are offered free ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while going elsewhere for your underboob......
A Few Seconds of Excerpt
Author of "Word Freak" and renowned short person Stefan Fatsis, who I've had the pleasure to meet on a few occasions and was once beaten at Scrabble by Big Daddy Balls Magary (Drew never shuts up about this), is coming out with a book this summer about his experiences joining the Denver Broncos camp...
Downward Facing Dog FTW!
Because National Public Radio is into recherche subjects like competitive yoga, one of their correspondents filed a story from a yoga dojo (yeah, I know that's not the right term, they're actually yoga studios *sniffs own fart* but that's froufrou) in Oregon that is at the leading edge of competiti...
Prof. Splash Gets Tenure at University of Awesome's College of Kickass
Darren Taylor, a former strip club DJ, has catapulted to amazing heights in life, only so that he may jump from them into shallow pools of water. Now known as Professor Splash, broke his own record when he plunged from 35 feet, five inches into 12 inches of water in a padded kiddie pool....
The Mysteries of Boob Punching
Berman vs. Mangino: WHO YA GOT? [Machochip]...
Ladies Still Swarm The Swami
Busted Coverage got their bra-unfastening hand on a few photos of Chris Berman hugging up on some lovelies at the U.S. Open. The girl in the fuchsia (that is what that color is, right?) shirt would seem to be getting a little personal, until I tell you Berman had one of those glowing arc reactors ...
Stephen A.'s Career Never Too Dismal For Heckling
Stephen A. Smith's career has fallen on hard times. He's been demoted from draft analyst to pick interviewer. Rising commodity prices have pushed Cheez Doodles above $3.15 a pound. Fortunately, the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen was at this year's draft, as they were in '06 and '07, ...
Hooker Gives Herself A Happy Ending
A few commenters in the Marshawn post drew my attention to this lovely headline currently appearing on tWWL's site. It's funny because hookers only usually run from cops, Patrick Bateman and the angry pack of dogs on my estate. They're bred specifically for their hooker-killing prowess....
Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....
Marshawn Lynch Ordered Not To Get A Dashboard Hula Girl
Amid the treacly tributes to "Kitty Litter" Leitch yesterday (even ESPN The Magazine had one!!1!!EXCLAMATIONMARK!!), we missed the news that Marshawn Lynch copped to that whole hit-and-run thing that happened in May and as a result had his license suspended. Apparently he wasn't aware he hit anyone...
Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...
About Last Night
What you missed while abusing your new monkey rights......
Hey! Game 2 Is Here! What, Already?
Thanks for the three-day delay between games at the same site, NBA. Kobe might have to skip out on the Olympics with this series scheduled to go on for the entirety of the summer. Just more time for Paul Pierce to get ready to play act some more and Kobe to prepare to be swallowed up by more Celtic...
Wayne Rooney Stag Party Photos Make Eye Gouging Sound Fun
Man U's Wayne Rooney is having a "stag do" (Huh? Googling, googling, googling...oh! A stag party. Crazy Brits.) in Ibiza in advance of his marriage to fiancee Coleen McLoughlin. Among the zany antics, Wayne has been ordered to wear a mankini , the green thongish thing Borat wore in the movie, by s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while giving into sloth, greed, lust, wrath, envy, pride and especially gluttony....
Somebody Has Been Watching "Rookie Of The Year"
Yesterday during the NCAA Super Regional, UC Irvine got out of a base loaded jam in the 7th inning against LSU by pulling the Hidden Ball Trick, which is best known to people of my generation from the movie Rookie of the Year, which also taught us that pitchers got big butts. Except UC Irvine didn't...