drewmagary Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Distractions" Are Bullshit
So Chris Kluwe blew up the Internet last week with this post, entitled "I Was An NFL Player Until I Was Fired By Two Cowards And A Bigot," and the sports world instantly split into two factions: Those who cheered on Kluwe, and those who thought he was a disgruntled ex-punter looking for revenge and ...
Here's How Completely And Utterly Fucked The Challenge System Is
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
The Lesson Of Black Monday: Your NFL Team Doesn't Know What It's Doing
Yesterday was Black Monday in the NFL. My team's coach got fired. Your team's coach got fired. EVERYONE'S coach got fired. If six Fortune 500 CEOs were all shitcanned on the same day, the markets would crash; there'd be barricades in the streets by noon. But it's a telling sign of football cultu...
The Best Version Of Every Important Christmas Song
NOTE: There are no country music versions on this list, because country music is terrible....
The Two Rules For Hanging A Banner In Your Stadium
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
The Devil And Phil Robertson: My Day With <em>Duck Dynasty</em>
So GQ sent me down to Monroe, La. (GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO), to hang out with the Duck Dynasty family. You can read the story right here, and whenever I go deep into the heart of 'MERICA—be it for this assignment or the Kid Rock cruise or the Values Voters Summit—I'm always careful not to be the sneering ...
What Is History's Greatest Toy?
Hey, I'm on vacation next week, so there won't be a Funbag on Christmas Eve. You'll just have to spend your day with your family, which is awful. I apologize in advance....
Fuck Your Fantanking
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have a house and, like most houses, it’s an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old clothes and shoes exploding out of the laundry room, which doubles as a storage room because we don’t have a storage room. The walls in our bedroom are bare because we haven’t had tim...
A Treasury Of Children's Insane Christmas Wish Lists
After I posted my kid's goofy Christmas wish list on Wednesday, we asked you readers to send in some of your own. You were not a disappointment to us. One guy's kid sent in the entire contents of the toy section at Target. Another reader's kid had a list that included a diagram (its instructions and...
How Stupid Was The Bears' OT Field Goal? Let's Do Some Math
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
Send Us Your Child's Insane Wish List
After today's breakdown of my kid's wish list, reader Jason sent in this gem:...
My Kid's Insane Christmas Wish List, Annotated
When I was a kid, I would dream up completely insane presents to put on my Christmas wish list—shit that no parent could ever possibly afford and no child could ever possibly deserve. And every year, my parents would tell me before Christmas that I would NOT be getting the little race car I saw on ...
The Dumb Iron Bowl Question You Were Afraid To Ask
I watched the Iron Bowl on Saturday and after basking in the glorious HOLYSHIT-ness of it all, I wondered what would happen if you returned a field goal in the middle of a game but failed to bring it all the way to the house. Do you get the ball at the spot you returned it? Or does the ball automa...
The Golden Age Of Thanksgiving
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
Should You Transfer Colleges If You're Miserable?
Before I get to the Funbag, a quick programming note: There WILL be a Jamboroo column on Thanksgiving. It should run early before the games start. So be on the lookout for that while your mom makes you spoon cranberry sauce out of a can because she doesn't trust you with the important cooking duti...
The Best Food In Movie History, Ranked
Please note that these rankings are based strictly on appetite appeal and NOT on the quality of the scene therein. Also, desserts count and documentary scenes do not....