emmacar Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Your "Get Ready For Some Passing, Bro" MNF Open Thread
Tonight, the NFL's two most prolific passers and their mediocre football teams face off on Monday Night Football. This should guarantee your week's fill of quarterback hyperbole from Gruden, Jaws, and Tirico. Enjoy, gunslingers!...
Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...
Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...
Single, Wiser, More Sexting-Savvy Tiger Woods Writes About Redefining Victory In Newsweek
In Nike's "Earl and Tiger" commercial, Earl Woods' voice told his son he wanted to know "what your thinking was...what your feelings are, and did you learn anything." In Newsweek today, Tiger tried to provide an answer to that essay prompt....
Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....
MNF: Young, Underpaid Quarterback Is So Far Outperforming Older, Overpaid Quarterback
At the start of the second half in the capital, the Eagles are up 45-14. Here's your belated open thread....
Omaha Royals Change Team Name To Storm Chasers; Ensure Lameness With Promo Video
In what could prove to be the year's second-worst re-branding effort, the Omaha Royals announced today that they will now be known as the Storm Chasers. The promotional video almost makes it all pathetically endearing, but mostly it's just pathetic....
IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...
Rick Reilly Writes A Lot About Moms, And Other Things Determined By Science
Ben Blatt of the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective used word frequency and Bayesian statistics to determine, well, nothing really except that Rick Reilly, Bill Simmons, and Jason Whitlock write like Reilly, Simmons, and Whitlock, respectively. But he found some cool stuff, too....
Dave Niehaus, The Voice Of The Mariners, Is Dead At 75
Niehaus called the first pitch in Mariners history in 1977 — a strike by Diego Segui — and continued calling until their final game of the 2010 season. He died of a heart attack in his Bellevue home Wednesday afternoon....
Radio Show Sends Random Listener To Bristol To Ask Trey Wingo About "Radio Raheem"
"Clemson Tom" got into the ESPN offices with zero credentials. He was recorded asking a gate attendant if Wingo, whom he described as a "wiry little fella," is in the building. Giggling excerpts from 1010 Sports after the jump....
Former NFL Player Dave Meggett Sentenced To 30 Years In Prison
Meggett was a running back and punt returner for three NFL teams between 1989 and 1998. He has a long history of sexual assault. On Wednesday, he was convicted on charges of criminal sexual assault and burglary. [AP]...
Let's Talk Rationally About The Theory That November's SI Kids Cover Is A Cleveland Diss
Rational people of the world, let's be rational together. This month's SI Kids' cover was a harmless rendering of Miami's Big Three as the Three Musketeers, not a malicious stab at the Cleveland Cavaliers and their preteen fan base....
Everyone In Turkey Seems To Already Know The Allen Iverson Chant
Allen Iverson went to see Besiktas FC's Turkish League soccer match against Kasimpasa on Monday evening, and as he shook hands with old Turkish men, some 32,000 fans serenaded him in unison. Was it ever like this in Philly?...
A Sensible Man In Gainesville Wants Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, And Jesus
John D. Gilliand of Gainesville, Florida, filed three petitions for injunction for protection against repeat violence last week — against everyone’s favorite Messiah Tim Tebow, President Barack Obama, and, to complete this holy trinity, Jesus....
Duke Administration Cancels Tailgating After Minor Is Found Passed Out In Port-A-Potty
A visiting teenager was found unconscious in a portable toilet after tailgating celebrations for Duke's win over Virginia on Saturday. The university will now brainstorm different gatherings that reflect "the class and spirit for which Duke is known." Right....
Next Time Cowboys Fire A Coach Mid-Season, They Will Likely Check Domain Name
Because someone failed to re-register the domain name, the Dallas Cowboys website disappeared from the interwebs on a big day for Cowboys-related news, and site visitors instead saw a screen like this. The marketing office must be in between interns....
A Chilean Miner Is Running The NYC Marathon, Proving That We're All Rather Inadequate
How would the average person spend 69 days trapped underground? Edison Peña ran three to six miles daily. Now he's running in the NYC Marathon this weekend. Great. I'll be on a couch, trapped under a pile of wings....
Dong-Obsessed Americans Are Seeing Dongs On San Francisco's World Series Champion Hats
The dong patrol has spoken, and they have seen the dong. Sorry, Commissioner Selig. There's no recalling this one....
Because He Can, Bear Grylls Jumps Onto A Moving Helicopter And Calls It An Alley-Oop
Bear Grylls is doing a three-part series of short videos for Degree Men deodorant in which Mark Messier "coaches" him through challenges from professional athletes. In the latest installment, Kevin Durant tells him to do a heli-oop. So he does....