patrickredford Page 151 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jayson Werth Has A Profane, Shaggy Message For His Haters
The Washington Nationals took the rubber match against the Chicago Cubs this evening after an insane 12-inning affair that featured the Nationals going ahead in the 8th, losing the lead in the ninth, forcing extra innings, falling behind in the 12th, then finally walking off after Jayson Werth singl...
Ichiro Is The True Hit King And Pete Rose Can Eat Shit
Today, Ichiro Suzuki hit an eighth-inning double off of Fernando Rodney to the right field corner. He sent Giancarlo Stanton to third, and he trotted into second base easily, looking mildly annoyed more than anything before he briefly removed his batting helmet to salute the crowd. If you count his ...
Nearly Perfect: Night Of The Raptor
Maybe it started when they named the team after a dinosaur in a Steven Spielberg movie, or when the first player they ever drafted refused to report, or when the team’s greatest player left the country to attend his college graduation on the morning of the biggest game in franchise history. But if y...
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Trevor Story Kneecaps Gerardo Parra
The Colorado Rockies are known purveyors of the “Two Guys, One Base” strategy and tonight, they took it too far when Trevor Story ran into Gerardo Parra like an enthused golden retriever going for a ball. He did not get the ball, but he did take out Parra....
Golf Child Is Great At Golf, Terrible At Fireworks Safety
Traditional youth sports are fun and all, but they don’t teach you many skills you can apply to other parts of life. You can shoot a basketball? Cool, but you can’t use that in a non-basketball scenario unless you find a way to make a living betting people on pop-a-shot....
Corey Dickerson Sent A Baseball To A Nice Farm Upstate To Live Out Its Days
Sometimes, baseballs get put out to pasture gently, getting tossed to a fan then spending the rest of their life on a shelf or something. However, not all baseballs are so lucky. Some meet much more violent ends, like this one that Corey Dickerson smashed the daylights out of....
Series Of Cascading Errors Gifts Panama A Nice Lil' Goal
Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans....
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
Let Us Introduce You To The Dankest Of All <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Theories
For all of the casual viewership and cultural ubiquity Game Of Thrones has achieved by being a show about “tits and dragons,” the show only works because of the writing. Almost everything about the plot is just goddamn preposterous, but it works because it’s anchored in characters having conversatio...
Just How In The Hell Did This Guy Not Crash?
For some reason, the Tour de Suisse decided that a good place to stick a finish line was 100 meters after a 90-degree corner. When Danny van Poppel tried to squeeze past Peter Sagan on the inside corner, he clipped wheels and was on course to eat shit into the barrier until he made a miraculous save...
Zack Greinke, Chill Out, My Friend
Zack Greinke left the Dodgers for the huge pile of cash that the Arizona Diamondbacks offered him this offseason, and he tried to show out a bit when he hit what he probably believed to be a donger against his former team. He flipped a itty bitty bat flip to commemorate the occasion. Except, yeah, n...
Sepp Blatter Dishes On Hot Balls Scandal
Sepp Blatter’s FIFA was a world-historically corrupt organization that sold away World Cups and ran all sorts of illegal-ass schemes until the Justice Department shut them down and he got replaced by a new, not entirely different president. Even though he’s widely reviled (or held up, depending on h...
LOSER CRY BABY JAMES
Photo: Kevin Draper enjoys a basketball game....
Venezuela Scissor Kick Their Way Ahead Of Mexico
Venezuela and Mexico are both going to advance to the quarterfinals of the Copa America, but the winner gets to avoid Argentina, so both teams have plenty to play for. The Venezuelans struck first and took a 1-0 lead thanks to José Velázquez going all upside down and smashing it past José Corona....
Report: Cycling Official Covered Up Motorized Doping At The Tour De France
According to a report broadcast by French TV station Stade 2, the UCI (cycling’s governing body) obstructed a police investigation into mechanical doping during the 2015 Tour de France. French police had received tips from multiple sources that two cyclists had been using illegal motors in their bik...
Draymond Green's Dick Punch Has Earned Him A Suspension From Game 5
Per a release from the NBA, Draymond Green will miss tomorrow night’s Game 5 for accruing four flagrant foul points over the course of the playoffs. The NBA reviewed Green’s swipe at LeBron James’ dick and balls and determined that it warranted a flagrant foul. James was also assessed a technical fo...
It's Boogie Time
Steph Curry decided this week to skip the Olympics, and this afternoon, Russell Westbrook announced he’d do the same. Team USA was already short LaMarcus Aldridge, Anthony Davis, and Chris Paul, and they’ll need the remaining candidates to step up. Who will save Team USA?...
Is This Ultramarathoner Faking His Record-Breaking Attempt?
Robert Young is a hero. He has an incredible, emotional backstory, and he’s trying to accomplish an unprecedented feat of athleticism. The 33-year-old Brit says he started running two years ago, and that an abusive childhood drove him to try and become one of the best endurance athletes in the world...
![UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ogfan7ptrxczlevnrfdk.jpg)
UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]
That’s Super Victor, the mascot of Euro 2016! Hi, buddy! He’s cute, huh? Kinda like Ness from Super Smash Bros. What a nice mascot, let’s Google him to find out more information!...