rickchand-old Page 110 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Praise The Lord And Pass The Seasoned Buckshot
It's a dilemma that has plagued hunters for centuries: When stalking in the woods, how do I keep deer from seeing me pray? The answer: The camo bible, guaranteed to fool even the most devout grouse, squirrel or beaver, so that you may blast them to Kingdom Come; just as God intended. We recommend th...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Bon Jovi/John Elway: We don't even know where to start here. Um, how about a tune? John, why don't you just crack your knees along to the rhythm? • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: Hey, can someone tell Daisuke Matsuzaka...
Ready For Some Good, Old-Fashioned College Basketball Nightmare Fuel?
Note to Bruce Pearl: There's such a thing as overselling an event, as may be the case tonight when Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt is supposed to appear at the men's game against No. 5 Florida and "do something special." Pearl (personal motto: Dignity, Always Dignity), the Tennessee m...
NBA Roundup: Blue Monday
Notes from Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing your will on your grounded Jet Blue flight ... • NHL: Holiday For Vowels ... Keith Tkachuk, Alexei Zhitnik debut for Thrashers in 3-2 win over Bruins. • NBA: Kobe, Lakers call out hoarsely: "We're not dead yet!" • College basketball: Jolly Olly Orange ... Syracuse upend...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while roasting AJ Daulerio. (More on this tomorrow.) ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Syracuse; Kansas at Oklahoma. Fun and laughs as your four-year-old points at Boeheim and yells "I found Waldo!" [ESPN] • College women's basketball: Connecticut at Rutgers. Pretty, smart, and c...
With An Assist From God
The Vatican soccer tournament is underway, in which Priests and seminarians from 16 teams from Catholic insitutes in Rome battle for holy supremacy. Hmm, would Jesus take a dive? What would be His philosophy on swapping his wing men? The scriptures are not clear. But we know one thing: Not only will...
Aei! It's The Gyroball! Run For Your Lives!
What is the gyroball? New pitch from outer space? Nothing but the Japanese version of a slider? A type of hamster wheel that runs our servers? A pitch that's contractually obligated to be the subject of an in-depth piece on every major sports Web site? The answers are shrouded in mystery. But Texas ...
And Here's Our 2007 Jeter Card ... What The Fungus?
Here as you can see is the Topps 2007 Derek Jeter baseball card, complete with Mickey Mantle looking on in the dugout, and our commander in chief waving at the camera from the crowd, both of whom we totally believe were actually there (Topps would never use Photoshop). With such distractions, no won...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Page 2's Scoop Jackson: Weren't those mutual glances during your Tim Hardaway interview a little more longing and flirty than they had to be? • 3 p.m. NCAAW bracketology: What's this? You just don't throw all the teams into a ...
NBA Roundup: Love Shaq, He's Our Little Love Shaq
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting together with your buddies to produce silhouettes of all your favorite movies ... • College basketball: Ohio State clinches Big Ten with win over Wisconsin; Florida observes with interest. • NBA: For those who consider it a rivalry, please note: Nets 101, Knicks 92. • N...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your dog is in the next room downloading Lassie porn ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Kelvin Davis vs. Darnell Wilson, at Scranton, Pa. Hey, why does the Rocky statue have a needle in it's ass? [ESPN2] • Cycling: Amgen Tour of California, stage 5, at Solvang. What the hell, let's all pul...
Randy Johnson Would Rather You Didn't Watch 'Music And Lyrics'
Here's an Arizona Diamondbacks newspaper ad, as scanned by Diamondhacks, in which we see an interesting marketing strategy. OK, we're guys, right? Guys like baseball. So if we guys don't stick together and, like, buy Diamondbacks season tickets, our girlfriends might make us go see Because I Said So...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL w/Marty Schottenheimer: Which puts more pressure on your skull ... being replaced by Norv Turner, or the other way around? • 1 p.m. PBA bowler Chris Barnes: Hey, aren't you the kid from Bad News Bears? • 1 p.m. NASCAR with Da...
... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...
NBA Roundup: DJ Was Always A Cut Above
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while giving the cat a perm ... • NBA: Mavericks ascending ... Heat, sans Wade, fall to Dallas 112-100. • Golf: Tiger's got them right where he wants them (insert evil laugh). • College basketball: We have a Conference USA champion, folks. Memphis 99, Rice 63....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after flying monkeys remove your stuffing and kidnap Dorothy ... • Cycling: Tour of California, stage 4, Seaside to San Luis Obispo, Calif. It's a pleasant afternoon here on the coast, as the riders are ... ah! Seagulls! Pecking my eyes! [Versus] • College basketball: Rice at Memphis; ...
ESPN: We Pan The Crowd, You Decide
Look, according to union rules, technicians in the ESPN video truck get one 15-minute coffee break every two hours. So if you're the director, sometimes you need to delegate. "Go ahead and choose which section of the crowd to pan, Buzz. I'm finishing my danish." Or, you know, perhaps every fifth per...