With An Assist From God

The Vatican soccer tournament is underway, in which Priests and seminarians from 16 teams from Catholic insitutes in Rome battle for holy supremacy. Hmm, would Jesus take a dive? What would be His philosophy on swapping his wing men? The scriptures are not clear. But we know one thing: Not only will players be praising the Lord for success in this tournament, they'll also be berating Him for failure. "Oh Holy Christ, we lost 11-0. WTF? I heard 78 confessions last week." Let's get right to the action.

In a miraculous upset, the young Mater Ecclesiae players trounced the more experienced but portly Brazilians 6-0 as their fans chanted: "The Mother of the Church wants a goal!" The game had its share of hard tackles and rough play, with the first goal coming from a penalty kick — the second in the match.

Of course, we're as eager as always to see what Vatican soccer hooligans are like.

Vatican Soccer Tourney Kicks Off [CBS News] Clergy Heed A Soccer Calling [Houston Chronicle]