tom-ley Page 236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike Francesa Could Not Give Less Of A Shit About The Ultimate Warrior
You think the Sports Pope wants to sit here and spend his day talking about professional wrestling? Get a clue. Francesa could cah less about that gahbage....

Here's A Bunch Of ESPN Personalities Reciting The Gettysburg Address
You're probably wondering why the hell this exists. Well, it appears that Ken Burns is working on a documentary about the Gettysburg Address, and this is some kind of promo clip for it. ...

David Ortiz Goes On Slowest Home Run Trot On Record
Thanks to our friends at Tater Trot Tracker, who have been timing home run trots for years now, we know that nobody takes his time getting around the bases quite like David Ortiz does....

Andrelton Simmons Makes Impossible Throw Look Easy
Andrelton Simmons's defense is one of the is one of the very best things baseball has going for it right now. Last night, the Atlanta Braves shortstop made a play that will break your brain. ...

The Masters Par 3 Contest Gave Us Our New Favorite Sports Baby
We like sports babies, so we are quite enamored with pro golfer Scott Stallings's son, Finn, who played in the Par 3 contest with his father at Augusta today. Just lookit how damn cute this sports baby is....

Billy Hamilton Tags Up And Scores On Pop Fly, Remains Ridiculous
Billy Hamilton, who is just so damn fast, somehow turned a lazy pop fly into short right field into a scoring play during today's game against the Cardinals. ...

What UConn's Breanna Stewart Means To Women's Basketball
Last night, sophomore forward Breanna Stewart led her UConn Huskies to their second-straight NCAA title and ninth overall. Her stat line offered a little of everything: 21 points, nine rebounds, four assists, two blocks. "The first Durantesque player in the women's game," her coach, Geno Auriemma, c...

The Braves Set The American Flag On Fire At Their Home Opener
The Braves really fucked up, you guys. During yesterday's home opener against the Mets, they set off a fireworks display way, way too close to the American flag. You are not supposed to put flames that close to the American flag, Braves!...

Listen To The Roots' New Single, "When The People Cheer"
The Roots' new album, ...And Then You Shoot Your Cousin, is out on May 13; the album's first single, "When the People Cheer," is out now. It suggests that this new album is going to be very good. ...

Bartolo Colon Celebrates Strong Start By Jiggling His Belly
Bartolo Colon dominated the Braves last night, shutting them out over seven innings while striking out five. He also did this in the dugout....

UMass Guard Derrick Gordon Comes Out As Gay
Derrick Gordon, a sophomore starter on the UMass men's basketball team, has announced that he is gay. ...

Jose Abreu Makes His Big-League Splash With Two Homers
It didn't take long for Yasiel Puig and Yoenis Cespedes to go from being Cuban defectors shrouded in mystery to household names. Based on what he did last night, it looks like White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu, the latest Cuban-born star to arrive in the majors, is on a similar path to stardom....

The Moment A D-I Basketball Coach Stumbled Out Of A Crackhouse
In 1986, Kevin Mackey led the Cleveland State men's basketball team to a stunning upset victory over Bob Knight's Indiana Hoosiers in the NCAA tournament. Four years later, he came wobbling out of a Cleveland crackhouse into the waiting arms of the police. The local news station was also there, capt...

Dikembe Mutombo Says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" Never Happened
Today is a very sad day. Dikembe Mutombo went on Highly Questionable and destroyed one of sports' greatest urban legends, emphatically denying that he ever walked into a club and yelled,"Who wants to sex Mutombo?"...

Derek The Joyless RA Responds, Says We Didn't Get His Sarcasm
Derek, the UConn RA who sent his residents the electronic manifestation of a wet blanket before last night's NCAA championship game, has resurfaced. He's got a message for all of us who made fun of him for being such a schoolmarm: We just didn't get his sarcasm, man....

Kentucky Fan Living In Louisville Dorm Is Expertly Shamed By Neighbors
This, from Reddit's college basketball subreddit, is a shining example of how college dorm residents should deal with neighbors who are fans of a rival team. Louisville may have been bounced from the tournament by Kentucky this year, but this coordinated act of shaming just about makes up for that. ...

Pitbull And J. Lo Team Up For The Official 2014 World Cup Anthem
Here it is, the song that you are going to be so damn sick and tired of hearing by the time the 2014 World Cup is over. Wrap your ears around Pitbull and J. Lo's "We Are One (Ole Ola)."...

ESPN's Website To Celebrate Hank Aaron With Night Of Cosplay
Forty years ago today, Hank Aaron hit the 715th home run of his career, surpassing Babe Ruth's mark of 714 and setting the all-time career home run record. Even with Barry Bonds having long since surpassed the record, this is one of the great moments in American sports history, more than worth marki...

Oscar Pistorius Tells His Side Of The Story
Oscar Pistorius continued his testimony in his murder trial today, describing his version of the events that ended with him shooting and killing his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Feb. 14 of last year. ...

Here's A Baseball Field That Looks Like It Has A Big Penis On It
It's been a while since we've brought you some vintage unintentional dong, so please enjoy this picture of a very dong-y baseball diamond....