We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Condition Day at Camden Yards, the Orioles won in the most colorless, unexciting way possible; a bases-loaded, full-count walk to Ramon Hernandez that brought in Corey Patterson from third to end the game (feeling drowsy). Patterson had led off the ninth with a walk, andZzzzzzzz ... Patterson went 3-for-3, stole a base, scored two runs and drove in one as the No. 9 hitter. He's now hitting .224! Johnny Damon had a two-run homer for the Yankees, who have lost three straight and six of seven. Yankees starter Andy Pettitte went seven seven innings, entering the game with a 20-5 record against Baltimore, including 12-3 at home.

All Are Helpless Before The Might Of J.J. Putz. Mariners closer J.J. Putz fanned Manny Ramirez on three pitches for his third strikeout of the ninth inning to preserve Seattle's 8-7 win over Boston. Dynamic, muscled power hitter Richie Sexson had a two-run homer in the sixth that put the Mariners ahead for good (Sexson obviously has been drinking a lot of Power Thirst). Boston has lost seven straight in Seattle.

Tony Abreu Has Energy Legs! The fan who caught Tony Abreu's first major league home run ball came to the Dodgers clubhouse after the game to make a deal with the rookie Abreu, who promptly traded another autographed ball and one of Ramon Martinez's bats for it. Los Angeles won 6-5 over Arizona in 10 innings, and there's going to be one very mad Ramon Martinez when he finds out what happened.

Cubs Juggernaut Surges Forward. Cliff Floyd's two-run homer was the only real excitement in the Cubs' 8-5 win over the Rockies on Tuesday. No deranged fan sprinting toward the mound ... and we kind of miss that.


Excuse Me, I Must Be Going. Jeff Cirillo broke an 0-for-8 slump with a mammoth, um, bloop single in the 12th inning to win it for the Twins, 2-1 over the Blue Jays.