On the radio today, Yankees GM Brian Cashman declared that if it were up to him, the Yankees would never name another captain after Derek Jeter, who was "so perfect" in the role but retired or died or something.
"As far as I'm concerned, and I'm not the decision maker on this, that captaincy should be retired with No. 2," Cashman said. "I wouldn't give up another captain's title to anyone else."
Other things the Yankees ought to retire so as not to sully them with Jeterless existence:
- The jumping throw to first from the shortstop hole
- Hot dogs
- John Sterling
- Sex with famous people
- The Hall of Fame
- Didi Gregorius
All hail our eternal captain, may his flame of leadership burn bright forever.