Brian Cashman Says The Yankees Should Retire The Very Idea Of Captaincy

On the radio today, Yankees GM Brian Cashman declared that if it were up to him, the Yankees would never name another captain after Derek Jeter, who was "so perfect" in the role but retired or died or something.

"As far as I'm concerned, and I'm not the decision maker on this, that captaincy should be retired with No. 2," Cashman said. "I wouldn't give up another captain's title to anyone else."

Other things the Yankees ought to retire so as not to sully them with Jeterless existence:

The jumping throw to first from the shortstop hole

Pinstripes

Hot dogs

Curveballs

John Sterling

Championships

Sex with famous people

The Hall of Fame

Didi Gregorius

Baseball

All hail our eternal captain, may his flame of leadership burn bright forever.

[ NYDN]