Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"

Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness.

Bad news, gentlemen: You might go bald one day, and there’s little you can do about it. You do, however, have your choice of coping mechanisms.

Yes, when your hair decides to ghost, you don’t necessarily have to take it lying down. You can try growing it back:

Minoxidil-based solutions: Although these offer the unparalleled advantage of actually growing hair in a “natural” fashion, they work satisfactorily in only a small percentage of cases. Any effects can only be maintained by means of repeated applications of the stuff—at a cost estimated at something near a grand per year.

In other words, reach for the Rogaine, which was a new medical development back in 1987:

Upjohn’s Rogaine is the first in the market and is the leader. As we go to press, the substance has yet to be approved by the FDA, but is legally available in Canada and Belgium.

Belgium! Did you know that when Rogaine was in medical trials, it caused participants to grow hair on other parts of their bodies, like their cheeks and hands? It might not do that anymore, but it only really works if you start using it early and plan to use it until you die. Otherwise, it won’t make a difference. But you have other options though, like hair transplants, as our guide suggests:

The surgical transfer of hair plugs from lush to barren parts of the scalp provide the balding with the nearest thing to real regrowth.

You don’t want to do that. Nor do you want to do this:

Toupees. The third choice—but only if you’re willing to buy the best. Otherwise, forget it.

Look, just be like the Rock. Have you seen the Rock lately? He’s bald as hell and looking fine as ever. So even though these days you have more options for staving off baldness, you should forget ’em all. If you’re going bald, just shave it. Don’t be like Donald Trump. Channel your inner Rock instead.

Image via Getty