Former Manchester United manager, laughingstock, and amateur golfer David Moyes has stayed pretty quiet since getting canned before last season's end. (Publically, at least. Don't come at him sideways at a wine bar.) Today, he spoke to the Guardian, expressing a frankly unbelievable level of naiveté about his sacking.
Here's his explanation of how he managed to be surprised by something every single person with even a passing understanding of United's traditional standards and the hatchet Moyes's team took to them expected:
"I got the job and I expected it to be a six-year plan. I signed a six-year contract... disappointed it didn't go to plan," he told the BBC.
"I expected to be given an opportunity to fulfil that and it wasn't what was expected.
"It was really difficult when I lost the job initially because I didn't really see it coming, even though I had been losing games.
"I knew that it could be difficult but I joined a club that I felt stood behind their managers, made sure they supported them in difficult times - Sir Alex had difficult times when he first took over.
"I do understand that the landscape has changed a little bit in football but I think that United always stood for the right things and I expected them to do what was right with me."
Like, LOL. You really thought you were going to get away with that abomination of a season with just a "You know Moysey, we really struggled last year; we hope you can pick things up within the next five"?
Maybe because of his gullible nature, Moyes remains optimistic about his next potential gig. He's been sounded out about jobs, but nothing concrete as of yet:
"I've had several people contact me about jobs. None of them have turned round and said 'here is a job it's yours'.
"But people have asked me if I have had any interest in jobs. The clubs that have come calling, I just felt that they weren't right."
We'd tell him that he was just being used as a negotiating tactic, but he seems happier in the world of his own imagining.