Photo: Topical Press Agency (Getty)
Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.  

Subject: The Yankees’ Starting Pitching Has Been Putrid. What Can They Do About It?

From: Elisabeth Maria

To: Barry Petchesky

The ENTIRE Yankees team are ALL better ball players then you are a writer. The high end, polished, genuine, professional, GENUINE, expert baseball journalist and the Yankees are all teen feet taller then you as people professional. You work at the right place – “Dead spin” is appropriately named. Mindless blog!

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

Subject: Yankees are in danger of making this season more interesting

From: Elisabeth Maria

To: Barry Petchesky

This IS 100% professionalism and excellent jounralisms!!!

[link to this New York Post article]

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

Subject: Mets Extend Olive Branch To Fans By Limiting Their Ability To Watch The Mets

From: Elisabeth Maria

To: Lauren Theisen

The Mets are ALL better ball players then you are a writer. “Deadspin” is what this mindless blog is. And you are in the right place. Mets above you in all ways. “deadpsin” is “Deadspin” just like your article!!! Never go by this cheap blog !!

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

Subject: Why LGBTW... XYZ whatever is still an issue?

From: Bart Fried

To: Lauren Theisen

Because hack writers insist on framing it that way. Yeah, sex sells. But really, who cares what her sexual preferences are. “Lesbian goddess”? Think before you insult our intelligence.

Bart Fried

New York City

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Subject: Totally inappropriate

From: Jo Ann Garrett

To: Lauren Theisen

Why did you use the word lesbian in describing the purple haired soccer player?

I hope she sues you.

I am a 75 year old straight greatgrandmother and thought you headline totally inaporopriate.

You owe her and us an apology!

Jo Ann

Subject: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:21 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

How much do you hate me?

Subject: Re: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:23 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

Why do you hate everything about America so much?

Subject: Re: Re: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:25 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

Actually, why do you hate everything?????

Subject: Re: Re: Re: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:33 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

I love red meat, the Dallas Cowboys, flying on airplanes, playing golf, have cats and dogs, and I drive a truck....sure you hate all of that too.

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Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:35 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

Hope you enjoyed Mueller’s stumbling testimony today;)

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I am a straight white man that has a penis, loves sports, hates crybabies, hates socialists and terrorists, doesn’t want open borders, thinks men and women should have separate bathrooms, hates colin kapernick, makes over $400k/year, loves guns, supports our police and military, stands for the national anthem, pays my bills and taxes,and fucking loves Trump

From: Brian Switzer [at 5:36 a.m.]

To: Lauren Theisen

Also, I read Barstool every day and really enjoy it

Subject: Conservative Gays

From: Brittany Haynes

To: Lauren Theisen

Aloha,

Thought Id drop you a line.

Aside from your article about conservative gays being absolute garbage spewing from your intolerant brain, you write like a 16 year old drop out. Seriously. Grab a thesaurus and maybe hit a community writing course because content aside, that was a terrible read—you could use some work on transitions at the very least.

With that being said..

Enjoy your “utopian” world, we’ll take reality.

Im glad we are getting to you. We’re only going to get louder. Thanks for the support and letting people know we are out there! Any press is good press. So Thanks!

#trump2020 #maga2020 #trumpisstillyourpresident

Brit Haynes

a conservative lesbian

Get Outlook for Android

Subject: Re: Conservative Gays

From: Lauren Theisen

To: Brittany Haynes

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Subject: Re: Re: Conservative Gays

From: Brittany Haynes

To: Lauren Theisen

Well, that was anti climactic.

Ill hand it to ya, you really must be a lesbian if you think 6 months is a long period of time.

got that uhaul in your back pocket dont ya?

Get Outlook for Android

Subject: Women’s soccer article

From: Art Hademan

To: Luis Paez-Pumar

You are a lousy journalist. If you can’t provide balanced, unbiased reporting then go back to slinging hamburgers at McDonalds!

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Usnwt

From: Scott

To: Luis Paez-Pumar

I don’t know anything about the team or individuals or the religion or lack of religion of the ladies named in the piece.

However, it is clear that hatred is alive and well as evidenced by the venom and bigotry in your words.

You sound just like our liberal Congress people and President... full of hate, resorting to name calling and in a word... juvenile.

Good job.

Thank you - Scott

Subject: USWT ARTICLE

From: Eric McMasters

To: Luis Paez-Pumar

Unbelievable to accuse US of cowardice. Sexist mentality showing. Hope Solo light.

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Women’s world cup referees

From: Cameron Brittain

To: Luis Paez-Pumar

Luis,

I’m sorry but I had to stop reading your article about referees in the woman’s World Cup because I believe you made an error that might show your ignorance about the game. This mistake is a fair and easy to make if your are simply a spectator of the beautiful game. While soccer does have rules of competition, these are not what is put forth by FIFA to dictate how the game is called. Soccer is governed by the laws of the game. Please feel free to look up the IFAB to help understand anything you are having trouble with.

This isn’t to say that you will suddenly agree with everything but it may help you have a more informed opinion. But there is the possibility you already have read the laws of the game but you’re just calling them rules.

Thank you,

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Re: Women’s world cup referees

From: Cameron Brittain

To: Luis Paez-Pumar

Luis,

I’m fairly sure you either not going to get these, they go into a spam folder or just un read. But, Incase they don’t, I owe you and apology. You’re article was correct in its terminology and well researched. I was running on very little sleep and was incorrect.

Thank you,

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: You have clue about baseball

From: greenvegan2011

To: David Roth

Tell me when did deadspin ever become baseball authority? What is this crack about 1957? The Mets did not exist until 1962. So why is the trade good or bad? No clue. The trade did surprise the league and the Mets scooped the league. I guess if the Yankees traded for him this would be a brilliant move. The 2 prospects ARE NOT their top prospects. KAY has average stuff and Richardson is only 18 in single A ball. Kay might be a bp piece or a 4th starter. Richardson might be ready in 4 years. What proof do you have that mets players traded to other teams have an acceleration to their mlb status? FAKE NEWS.LAZY FAKE NEWS WITH NO PROOF. STICK TO HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP. NO PROOF.

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

Subject: To Truly Understand Jon Gruden’s Mind Would Be To Go Mad

From: Roy Drachman

To: David Roth

David,

What is your article saying…it goes round and round and never comes to the surface. Its so bad it would lead someone to believe you are a mixed up second hand sports writer. I am sorry I waisted my time reading it and then sending you this email because like all fake news writers, I am sure you don’t give a damn.

Roy Drachman

Subject: [no subject]

From: J_Dallas1995

To: Gabe Fernandez

So you say that Press deserves the hit pieces that you and others have aimed at her. I dont care or have fondness for Barstool, they remind me of the worst frat boys from college. But what have you actually done to help the world? Press does charity work in Africa, is pushing a new company with Rapinoe, Heath, and Krieger in order to establish more entrepreneurship for women. She is one of the leaders for advocacy on the team. All of this while her mother recently passed away from what I believe was cancer. As someone who has a father battling stage 4 cancer she was an inspiration all WWC. When she got that header in the semifinal I stood up and cheered as my dad clapped as well. Yet you attack a successful WOC, who has been through so much recently and does as much as she can to help the world. And what do you do? Attack her, equate her to maga hat wearing racists and tear down her reputation and try to get your internet trolls to attack her. And for what? a 20 SECOND instagram story. Are you serious. What the hell have you ever done to help this world! Do you see the evil we’re facing in our own nation! Yet this is your fight. Trying to get retweets by tearing down one of the nicest athletes who does nothing but speak and do actions that try to help others. Over a twenty second instagram story! Guess what, most of the population dont know or care about barstool or their toxic editors. Yet you ignore Lavelle doing an entire podcast segment so you can tear down the WOC who as someone who is seeing a parent facing cancer is an inspiration who was a lift for us during the WC. Youre a disgusting human being. Doing all of this for clicks. Deplorable.

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Subject: Shut up Faget

From: L’ Q

To: Chris Thompson

Stupid dumb article, I’m guessing you’re a liberal aren’t you. Stupid faget

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Get the Story Straight Hater!!

From: Dustin Jones

To: Chris Thompson

I read your article.

You fail to mention the fact President Trump didn’t like the chant at his own rally. He already disavowed it.

Another lack of facts article written by a leftist Hater!

Democrats can say horrible hateful racist things but republicans cannot?? Get a clue!

I see and hear 100 times more racist hateful talk from the leftist democrats. Hate is all they think about 24/7. Democrats go around physically assaulting innocent people just because they support our President? People in wheelchairs for crying out loud!!

Democrats are the NAZI Acting Racist Group!

Democrats will never take back the white house.

Not until they come back to reality and stop lying about everything everyday.

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Tim Tebow

From: Abaterolmar

To: Chris Thompson

Does somebody actually pay you for the mindless dribble you write?

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Deadspin [skull emoji]

From: gman28

To: Chris Thompson

You mofos are cluekess Woke warriors with no future. God Bless our Great Mister President Trump #MAGA 🇺🇸

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Subject: CARDINAL WAY

From: Wayne

To: Chris Thompson

After your laughing stock Cubs win more than 1 World Series every 100 years you MAY rise to the level of saying the word “Cardinals”, but with your Cub tainted blood better say it with reverance. Meanwhile, go play in the cork bat box with the other lovable loser fans.

Wayne

Sent from my moblie device

Subject: [no subject]

From: Todd Zickel

To: Chris Thompson

You’re a douche bag...Terrible writer.. [thumbs down emoji] [poop emoji]

Subject: [no subject]

From: Meanie

To: Chris Thompson

Easy to see that pretty much anyone can get a job at “Deadspin.” Your hatred of the Cardinals is comical! I hate teams also but I’m not childish about it. Calling what Mikolas did in the Cards-Cubs game “dastardly” is way over the edge. Your articles are “putrid.”

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Subject: Lost a reader

From: Scott Cannady

To: tips@deadspin.com

Just and FYI, I will no longer be visiting your site. I come here for sports and this big whiny article is the final straw. I tried to contact your new ownership to let them know but I couldn’t find anything.

Grow up folks.