Dead Letters: We Are Not Here To Tell Tebow Jokes

Subject: Tebow Jokes!

From: Costaki Economopoulos To: The Staff

Hey Kids,

I have a regular joke-driven all NFL radio segment called “Quick Snaps.” Would LOVE to talk to you guys about writing for the site. Perhaps a once weekly feature with several topical NFL jokes?

This week it was a PLEASURE to be a football joke writer. Highlights below.

Let’s discuss!

-C

Tebow’s headed to the Big Apple. I’m not a biblical scholar, but a Christian around an apple? Sounds like trouble to me.

Welcome to New York. Where 3:16 is the ratio of city blocks that smell like urine.

New York already has players with questionable talent who pray for wins. They’re called the Mets.

Tebow insists that he and starting QB Mark Sanchez have a great relationship. Yeah, well, that’s what the Clintons say too.

I looked it up. “Sanchez” is a Spanish word for “Orton.”

Subject: I’m going to visit the site less with this wierd format

From: Tim Duncan To: The Staff

[No text.]

Subject: Minor League Guy

From: crash0032 To: Tim Burke

The fictional Minor League Guy story was excellent. My favorite was the you have a girlfriend part.

I keed. I keed.

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Dana Jacobson

From: Drew Hopkins To: The Staff

Subject: Danna J

From: Scott Melnick To: The Staff

Hello, Can I watch the D.J. drunk clip please?

First Take fan

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

Subject: Intern

From: Gavinjs33 To: Jack Dickey

Fuck the dumb shit, just pick me. I’m a beast.

Subject: Deadspin Summer Intern

From: Nick Bonadies To: Jack Dickey

Hello Sir or Madam,

A couple paragraphs (crabs) about me.

Why I would be good fit? Because you’re a square hole, and I’m a square peg. #Geometry

Resume: https://www.google.com/

Things I’ve written: http://www.wikipedia.org/

Not interested yet? Well I’ll let you pay me a low price of $15 a hour. Deal?

Best,

Nick

Image by Jim Cooke. Tebow photo via Getty, brick wall via Shutterstock.