Dude, John Wall, Whoa

Team USA Basketball Camp starts today in Las Vegas, which means of bunch of the top American basketball players get to hang out under the watchful eye of Gregg Popovich—and also, apparently, one massively exhausted party animal will be there too. The Wizards tweeted out a picture from the camp that I’m told is a headshot of John Wall.

Oh no. That can’t be John Wall. This is a friend of a friend who just assumes it’s cool to crash on your couch at the end of a party. This is the guy ahead of you in line at Papaya Dog at 3 a.m. This is a guy desperately trying to hold it together until Tame Impala takes the stage. This is a guy who bought tickets to a midnight showing of The Big Lebowski last week and just realized he forgot to go. This is your Craigslist roommate informing you you’re out of Totino’s Pizza Rolls.

Here’s Wall, the 27-year-old perennial all-star, getting his photo taken less than a year ago, before the 2017-18 season. It’s definitely John Wall.

Wall looks focused and muscular and well-groomed, and not just because he’s been spruced up and airbrushed after the shot. Here’s another picture of Wall looking both sharp and happy before a game in February—just five months ago, I feel compelled to emphasize.

Now, the lighting for Team USA photo day didn’t do anyone any favors. Scheduling the photoshoot for 5 a.m. and not telling Wall and hustling him directly out of bed for it (I can only assume) did him even fewer.

The Wizards must not have liked everyone roasting Wall—only his Washington teammates are allowed to passive-aggressively do that—because they deleted the tweet. Too late; mellow harshed.