The Brain Of Nick Castellanos Has Transcended Time, The Standings

Professional athletes are known to enter some strange head-spaces in order to stay focused and conquer doubt and all the rest of it. Still, it must be said, Cubs outfielder Nick Castellanos is truly smelling the psychosphere these days. He was asked Tuesday night why he greets manager Joe Maddon with “Happy Opening Day” before every game, and his explanation will send weaker minds on a one-way trip into the void.

My favorite part of this is Castellanos demanding that proof be given that yesterday was not Opening Day, and the quick-thinking reporter mumbling out an answer about Chicago’s record. So devastatingly simple, and yet nowhere near powerful enough to drag Castellanos’s brain down from the throne of cosmic knowledge.